A life of secrecy

Entry for May 15, 2006

A life of secrecy. Not an easy one to live! I am sure all of you that participate in this hobby can relate to me here. Just how do you explain to friends and family when you phone rings at 11pm and you get dressed up like you’re heading for a night out on the town? For some it may not be out of character, for me, it’s like night and day.

It’s funny how Belle and her counterpart can be so much different yet so much alike. It would be best to say that they way they live their lives are very different but their inner personalities are one of the same. I have always been a very private person. I have many acquaintances but few friends. By choice though! I am friendly with coworkers and neighbors but I seldom let anyone “in”. I suppose this works to my advantage in this business. But I have always been too predictable.

It is seldom that I entertain company. I have always been a home-body. My time is passed with quiet evenings at home with family. Movies and reading, sitting by the fire watching a good hockey game…that is my idea of a great night. Quiet and simple is my life. Then there is Belle.

So when you start leaving the house several times a day usually in a different outfit each time just how do you explain that? You can only spill coffee on yourself so many times, you can only have so many friends to visit and you can only have so many stories to tell. I am lucky that my neighbors, who tend to be of a much older generation and are likely very nosy but they don’t ask questions. I know what is on their minds, what they must be thinking and that is awkward in itself. And when family stops by because they were in the neighborhood as you are dressed in a cute low cut black number with heels at 2 in the afternoon, how do you say you’re heading out with a friend for lunch and make it a believable story, especially when your usual attire is jeans and an oversized tee?

Most that have noticed this recent change in me are quite happy for me. They seem to appreciate this new found confidence in myself. To see that I dress with a sense of sexiness that I have never displayed before. To see that I smile with a new sense of playfulness seems to please them. Little do they know it’s the secret life I am living that I owe the new me to!