Sunday, March 18, 2018

50 Shades: Electro Stim

Pleasure and pain. It has become a very fine line for me so when combining the two, the orgasms are phenomenal. But what most excites me is the amount of trust that a sub gives to her dom by allowing the introduction of electric stimulation into the bedroom.

Sitting naked and apprehensive on the bed I watched him unravel the exension cord he removed from the red bag. Placing a black plastic case on the bed he removed the wand and the attachments and assembed the unit to his pleasurable specifications. I layed myself out for him and he began by kissing me. My body trembled. With excitement. With fear. He placed the blindfold over my head and everythng went dark. Almost immediately I became disoriented. Losing track of where he was in the room I could hear him prepare. And then the crackle.

The first touch of the current through my body felt similar to that of a nine volt battery on your tongue. A humming tingle, sharp and contiuous; more of a nuisassance than pain or pleasure. It was on low and making contact with my upper arm. As the current was increased the sensation became more piercing. On the nipple it sent my entire chest up to my neck into a spasm. On my clit I was rendered helpless, writhig with the most pleasurable pain. If only there was another way to descibe  it.

He would kiss every part of my body and work in shocks between the kisses. Sometimes he would pause. Sometimes he woud not. I never knew what sensation was going to touch me where. At times when it hurt really bad I allowed myself to be aroused my the accomplishment to breathe through the pain.  But the real reward came when he whispered, "Good Girl". It truly pleases me to see him pleased.

While there is so much sensation involved with this type of play, once again for me I am so turned on by having someone who expects nothing of me than to be me. No promises or committments, no expectations than to respect and have a good time....and that is enough for him from me. I can trust him when I am most vulneable. There is nothing sexier than that!

xo Belle

50 Shades: Cuckolding

Fetish # 32: Cuckolding

I have always been a sexual being. I love sex. And I've been lucky enough to have lived out most of my sexual fantasies, cuckolding being the most recent. We spent time online searching for a third, a man to have his way with me as my master coaches him. Finding interested parties proved not to be a problem. But finding one we both connected with took a little time. And then we foud him. Anthony.

We met in a hotel room, he arrived at the specified time. I paused at the door after he knocked to look back at my Sir. He smiled and gave me the nod. I opened the door and welcomed him in. He said hello and walked past me into the room. After removing his coat and shoes he led to Sir with his hand out for a shake. I was quick to intervene as there was no reason for formalities here.

As my master watched from the desk chair I wrapped my arms around Anthony and kissed him. I kept my soft lips on his, my tongue gliding along the inside of his mouth as he allowed his nerves to pass and his shaking subsided. And with that he regained his power and gave me a gentle but definite push onto the bed. "Get undressed" he instucted. And so I did. He stood at the foot of the bed and stared at my naked body as a hunter would his prey; proud, pleased and desperate to devour. He undressed and I made my way to his cock and while kneeling on all fours I began the most seductive, wet blowjob doing all that I could to be sure he was pleased.

I made eye contact with Sir as he made his way to me laying on the bed. Leaning over me he held down my arms and my chest and asked if I was ready. Assuring him I was he instructed Anothy to fuck me, to take me any way he so wishes. And so Anthony did. Sir would kiss me while I was being fucked by another and that excited me. At the same time I looked into both of their eyes. So much passion and desire looking back at me. Anthony came. And not just once. He blew one load on my face then demanded I crawl to my master. When I did my master presented his cock and I blew him. Both had cum over my body and I had cum several times myself.

We sat and chatted on the bed for quite some time then called it a night. I went to bed thinking this is not where I had pictured myself to be at this age. I pictured being secure, successful and settled but this, this life is so much better. Sometimes it's the not knowing what's next, not knowing exactly where you stand, not knowing what tomorrow looks like that's the difference between living and being alive.

50 Shades: I give up (control)

Life as a single mom is tough. Every decision is made by me and the end result of those decisions oftentimes bears heavy weight on my shoulders. Simple decisions like what to make for dinner, more complicted ones like setting consequences for slacking in school, it seems my mind never stops. Being the one in control, the only go-to is exhausting.

But it is not just being mom that is tough. Being a woman, any woman is of no simple task. From what to wear; to our hair to our skin and nails our day is filled with critisism and judgement and we are never more than seconds away from our next decision to be made. We accept this and we suck it up. We are women, it is what we do. But it wears us down. We get tired. I am tired. Like what led me to Belle is likely the same driving force that has led me to the BDSM lifestyle. I need out.

Having spent several nights with my one night fling exporing our deviant kinks I quickly realized that I naturally identify with a submissive's role. I need to give up control. I need to stop thinking, for others, for myself. I need someone to take over. And my partner, he had no hesitation about becoming my dominant. He yearned for the power and respect that would be demanded of his submissive.

Together through much communiction we developed our roles. We talked hard limits and safe words, setting goals for what we would each like to achieve through this relationship. This time, for me, was the most open and honest I had ever been with a man, or myself about my sexuality. I was able to express my desires no matter how dark and twisted without fear of judgement. I was truly free.

And so it was a summer of discovery. He was teaching me to trust, to let go and be his. And I thanked him by keeping him pleased at his every whim. He struggled at first with this new found control. He was excited but he feared where this would lead. Would he know when to stop? Would he take things too far?

Each night we stole a little more from the other, pushed a little further, explored a little deeper. And the bedroom was not enough. This poison running through our veins that once only flowed during the midnight hours now seeped into the light of day. We could not get enough. And I didn't want to.

xo Belle

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

50 Shades: Intro

I will admit to not having read any of the "50 Shades" trilogy but I did see the first two movies that have been released. The first really piqued my curiosity as I had always been interested in the BDSM lifestyle but lacked any understanding of those type of relationships.  And from what I have learned in that time since seeing the first movie I also know that 50 Shades may not be the most accurate depiction either.  But it was enough for me to want to know more, to research the lifestyle in my local community; immerse myself in it and make a decision based on my personal experience and not that of some glamourized concept by Hollywood.

Sexuality is a beautiful thing and exploring it, pushing your boundaries while keeping an open mind only intensifies not only your relationship with your partner but also your relationship with yourself. The thought of a woman being hit by a man strikes a chord with most everyone, myself included. And giving power to a man to do as he wishes sexually strikes the very same chord. What I have always struggled with is how can I be so turned on yet utterly disgusted by the thought?

Five months ago a conversation broke out with a male friend. The same male friend I have been writing about since my hiatus. We had danced around the subject of bdsm before but this conversation we delved a little deeper into our own dark desires, both I think a little shocked at the others' confessions. While we have known eachother for so many years and always pictured the other in a most respectful way we never imagined these kinks within the other.

It was the most real I had ever been with a man...or with myself about my sexuality. But I trusted him enough to lay myself bare. It felt so good to just say, "This is who I am, this is what I would like to try". I am a grown woman and if not now then when? We had many conversations, joined several social media groups dedicated to the lifestyle and even visited a local sex shop to speak with the counterperson who just so happened to be in a bdsm relationship and was pretty connected in those circles within the community. We learned a lot.

More and more I became aware of my submissive tendancies and gained an understanding of why I yearn to be a part of something I always thought immoral. And, just like escorting I became aware that my disgust was half part misunderstanding and half part society and the social standards we are all raised by. I soon began to accept my kinks and instead of repressing them I chose to explore them.

I will continue to write a 50 shades series as I break down my experiences and share with you my personal journey in the bdsm lifestyle. I just need it to be said, as I have struggled about sharing my experiences that this in no way denotes any changes in the services I provide as Belle. These experiences, interests, curiosities etc. are solely related to my personal life and I in no way intend on offering any such services as Belle.

Xo Belle