Saturday, September 16, 2006

Another day at the office

I hope you can all understand where I am coming from here. If not, then I think you should all do something about it! I went to the anonymous clinic today for my testing. It’s the fourth or fifth time I have been through this process since becoming an escort last September. It’s not fun, no, definitely not fun. But it is the responsible thing to do so I do it.

So I get there and I have gotten used to how this works. Basically you are known as a number as opposed to a name. This is the one time I do not mind being just a number. My family doctor does not know what I do in this business, nor do I care to let him know so this anonymous testing is a great way to go, except when you get a nurse that feels you need to be saved.

First I get the usual chit chat as I fill out the forms. Even though it’s anonymous I still feel the need to stretch the truth on the questionaire. “Have you had sexual intercourse with anyone since your last visit?” Um, I think that is why I am here, no? “How many people have you had sexual intercourse with?” “Including my husband”? I ask. They don’t have a very good sense of humor in this office! Three. “Have you ever had unprotected sex”? A very valid question if the third question above this one didn’t ask me to list how many children I have. I am now the Virgin Mary.

I am chuckling to myself as I continue answering questions. I notice that the nurse is sizing me up. No, not in a way that I would like (although she really isn’t my type). And here starts the spiel. “It is not too often that a woman as healthy looking as yourself comes into this office”. Well, thank you I say, I hide it well! She is a little confused but I am having fun playing with her now. She goes on to tell me of the services that are available for “women like me”. So I ask her with interest “Oh, you offer CSI classes”? Now really confused she asks what I mean by that. I went on to explain:

“Well, women like me are interested in Crime scene investigation and I have been thinking for some time to take up a few courses. And women like me enjoy yard work, do you have any brochures on perennials? And women like me are mothers, I’ve been having trouble with my teenage daughter, how can you help me out with her? Women like me work for our money just as you do, perhaps you could direct me to the best accountant in the area to give me the biggest tax breaks. Oh, and women like me love sex… I am sure you have a brochure all about that one don’t you”?

The nurse now asks me to calm down stating that she didn’t intend to offend me. “Now just how could I be offended, you simply asked me what a woman like me is doing in a place like this”. Just what are you trying to imply but that comment I ask. Are you saying that women like me are not as likely to contract a communicable disease as opposed to women not like me? Is it not your job to be understanding and supportive? To make it easier to find help and be safe in this disease ridden world? It is no wonder why there are such stereotypes out there about this business, I think to myself.

This is our government talking. This is how they look at us. Do I find this frustrating? Hell yes! I know that I shouldn’t but I do. I look around the office and everything there is to read, every brochure, every poster, every book is all about sex or drugs! You want to help these women, and I mean really help them? Yes, educate us about sex, give us free condoms and test us anonymously. But……empower us! Teach women how to love themselves instead of running to their pimp to be beaten. Teach them self defense, beg Karate schools to offer a significant discount to ladies referred to them by the office. Contact the local high schools and colleges and see what they can offer these women and have that information readily available in the office. Advertise government programs, spirituality courses, work opportunities and computer training available for women like us!

I could go on and on here. If you feel so bad for the women that lead this type of lifestyle then why not examine why they do what they do. That is how you help them. Give them alternatives, a way out if they feel they need one. Don’t belittle us. Those of us in the office are not the ones that need saving, it’s the ones that don’t make it to the office that do!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Flirtatious Banter

The “flirtatious banter” dilemma I face being an escort is quite complex so I am looking for your thoughts on this one! I want your honesty here so please do not hold back. First let me say that I love to flirt. I love to be part of someone’s fantasy, to be an object of their desire. No, not to be treated as an object but to feel as though I am desired. Flirting keeps this fantasy fun. It is erotic to have a sexual fantasy but even more so when you imagine who that person would be to partake in that fantasy. And to top that off would be to flirt with that person about that fantasy.

To flirt with someone is stimulating for me. When I flirt with a man, it is not so much the intention to follow through as it is the rush of feeling wanted and being teased as well as to do the teasing! It is not to say that these flirtations are empty as I do follow through with the fantasy when I am intrigued or aroused by someone (You know exactly who you are!) but it is still not the intent.

So here is where I am at:

I am very forward about what I like, what I do not like and the things I am willing to try (or not to try) for that matter. In my personal life flirting is not an issue. While I may do it lightheartedly with a coworker I am aware it never has the possibility for potential. It is harmless as there is no intention on my part to carry it through to anything more than simple flirting.

As an escort I am running my own business. It is expected of me to consider everything I say and do when promoting my business or when simply bantering with those that I have met through this business. I am very careful to not disrespect anyone within the industry and there are many things I am concerned about when I banter flirtatiously with the wonderful gents I have met.

First of all I never wish to make a man feel that I expect him to see me. I never question to him or even myself how often they choose to see me or why they see me. That is not my business. My business is to see them when they choose to see me. If that means visits months apart or hours apart, I will not approach any gentleman as to when he will be seeing me next. To me that would be highly unprofessional, perhaps even to go so far as seeming desperate.

I would be humiliated if I ever thought to shame someone into seeing me or to make them feel obligated to me in anyway. This is one large candy store and we all love different flavors. I would never allow myself to be offended by a client of mine (being someone I have seen, not to say that that client is mine) seeing another lady. In fact I encourage it all of the time! I believe that it is perhaps unhealthy for a gent to see a single lady exclusively. Yes, I have had/have gents to see me exclusively for a time and then they move on. This is a good process, a healthy one and is par for the course. That is how this industry works.

So with all of that being said is it possible to be endlessly flirtatious without the party involved feeling as though there is pressure to book an appointment with me? I wonder this often and worry that while I am enjoying playing with the idea of an encounter with someone that they perhaps may feel pressured in some way. Do you feel obligated to see a lady because you have spoken in a chat room? Do you feel the need to see a lady more than once to not have her feel as though your first time with her was unsatisfying? In your experiences as a hobbyist, what are your pet peeves or things that put you off from seeing a lady? And lastly, does an escort flirting with you seem like a desperate cry for an appointment?

I am very curious to hear what you all think of this. I know I have a lot of readers out there so I had better get a lot of comments! Post anonymously if you like, it is not my concern as to who you are but what you think!

Monday, September 11, 2006


The world we live in.

Today is a sad day. For Canadians, for Americans, for Muslims, for all human beings. No longer are the days that we are safe anywhere. In our homes, in our streets, in our country or abroad. This is a fact, our world will never be what it was pre-9/11. So what do we do from here?

Do we live in fear? Do we raise our children to doubt all humanity? Do we stop living our lives and do our best to simply sustain ourselves? Do we let them win? I think we all know the answer to that. We have all listened to the news, read the reports and watched those planes crash if once, then a million times. Our country’s leaders have begged us for five years to continue living, to support your country….to unite and be strong.

As a whole, that sounds easy to do. We have discussed these issues around conference tables at work. We have all shed a tear with a family member on the phone. We have all gone to bed and prayed for all of the victims and their families of 9/11. But how do we as individuals overcome what we have lived through and carry on emotionally in our new world?

Movies are being produced by the dozens, documentaries about the attacks. I have watched most every one of them. And through each one, each news clip, each interview, each article I see the same message. Live today for today. The victims on Flight 93. Out of every single one of them on that flight and the 50 some odd calls that were made from that plane, only one call went to 911. Where did all of the other calls go out to? Moms and Dads, husbands and wives, sisters, brothers, friends and kids. What does that say about us as human beings? To me it says that when we are facing death we look for comfort from those we love. Those loved ones that received those calls could have done nothing physically to save their loved ones on board that flight. So why were they called and not 911?

Because we are aware that our bodies are just our bodies. It is our sprit that needs comforting and nourishing. We can’t get that from a 911 dispatcher. We get that from those that we have bonded with in our lives. Let them teach us that. Let them teach us that we should not take for granted how our loved ones feed our souls, how our friends support us and how our neighbors lend a helping hand.

Take just a small minute out of your day today to pray. For the victims, their families and each other that have been affected by 9/11 in one way or another. Hug your kids, kiss your partners, tell Mom and Dad you love them. Shake a friend's hand, visit with your neighbor and be thankful that we have all been given another day to do so. God Bless.