Friday, June 23, 2006

No, I'm not perfect!

Entry for June 19, 2006

Irresponsibility. I truly despise that word but even more when I have to connect myself with it. If I have one fault (ok, I have many but will only admit to this one) it is that I am very hard on myself. It is funny as I expect very little of everyone else but only the best from me would do.

I have little time for irresponsible people. It is hard to accept fault in yourself but I think very commendable for one to accept responsibility for their actions. No, I am not looking for a pat on the back here but I will admit to my own shortcomings.

This is where being an Independent, a successful one anyways, is much more difficult that working for an agency. You must have discipline and respect that you are now running your own business. You cannot blame lateness on the agency driver running late, you cannot blame a missed appointment on the agency double booking. The onus is on you to keep your business affairs (pun intended!) in order. So, to once again knock myself off of that pedestal I like to think I am on I will admit to my screw ups!

It was my first week of Independence. I had a 3hr booking for Sunday evening. I worked my day job and finished by about 2pm. I checked my messages, looking for a confirmation for my 6pm appt. Nothing. I went home, ate dinner and dressed for the evening. I sat around until 8pm waiting to hear from this gent. All the while I am thinking that if a lady doesn’t show up, he will call right? No call, no nothing. Now feeling terrible I wondered if I had done something wrong. Did I miss the email, the call? Turns out that for some reason my messages for that day were not forwarded to my phone until the following day.

I of course was very apologetic but I know the frustration would not be erased by a simple “I’m sorry”. But understanding he was and did rebook for another time. Then about a month ago I had a time and a place! I knew the hotel in advance and just had to wait for a room number. 10 mins before the appointment I arrive at the hotel and await his call.

Again, no call! I wonder just why, when I do not show up that he doesn’t call to see where I am. I went home ½ hr later and pm’d him my apologies. Apparently when he had left his message he had left the room number but it was cut off from the message. As to why he didn’t call me---He just felt that perhaps for some reason I had decided against seeing him! Very sweet that he would have thought of me but if I were him I would have lost it!

And finally, just a few days ago I book a last minute appt at 9 am for 11 am. I rush to shower and get ready, quite excited to see him. I know that his schedule does not allow for prebooking an appointment so this has worked out great. He says he will call when he has a room. I am ready and head out to my new van. Ok, not new, but new for me. I just picked it up 2 weeks ago but had to send it back for a few repairs the day after I bought it. Anyways, it was just dropped off in my driveway the night before so I was excited to finally get to drive it. Only problem is it won’t start! I try everything but to no avail. I run into the house and begin to make phone calls. I think I have a ride on the way but the driver is in Welland, at least ½ hr from getting to me. The gent calls and I explain the situation and that I will be there asap. Long story short, due to a family thigk I had to attend time ran out and I was unable to make the appointment. Talk about irresponsibility. Again, he was very understanding that these things happen and are sometimes beyond our control but even still, it is not me and certainly not a positive way of doing business.

Now I have gents cancel quite often and it is never an issue. But when it’s me I feel terrible. It’s bad enough that when flu hits, or colds etc that cancellations have to be made but to leave someone in a room waiting for me and me not show up, I truly do get upset. I know it happens and such is life, but that is just not good enough for me.

So there it is, the irresponsible Belle. Not only do I wake up with bed head but I am human. I know it sounds like a silly statement to make, of course I am human. But sometimes I feel that some people out there forget this fact. They see us ladies when we have prepared ourselves to be seen. I prefer to be seen as a human being. I am far from perfect although that only gives me something to strive for!

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