Journey into the night

This entry is more for my personal reflection than anything. It is not my typical style of writing so be prepared, it is quite long and uneventful.



I am sure if you read my last blog you would have likely figured it wouldn’t be long before I tried something spontaneous. I try at the best of times to challenge myself. If I see a fault, fix it. If I am not happy, make myself happy. And if I feel that I need spontaneity in my life, then do something spontaneous! I spent enough years feeling sorry for myself, wishing my life were different. I try hard now to make my life what I want it to be. The night ahead of me was totally unplanned, unscripted and uneventful yet I learned so much about me.

First, how I came to this idea. Ever see Sleepless in Seattle? Any of you that have had a sappy significant other in the early ‘90’s will likely remember this one. He lives East, she lives West. They fall in love but have never met. The proposition is laid out. I will be here at such and such a place, at such and such a time, on such and such a day. Typical love story. He is there and waits, she finally meets him there and they live happily ever after. So the idea of propositioning someone with “I’ll be here, on this day, at this time…..if you want me” was born. No, not to live happily ever after as I do not believe in fairy tales, but as for great sex…….I will always believe!

Anyways, I knew the possibility of a sexual interlude was not about to happen but I then thought of still showing up…at that place, at that time and seeing what the night had waiting for me. A date with myself. A night of spontaneity. No plans, no maps, no mission save for going on a whim!

I started my journey with a little stress before I walked out the door so I knew I would be fully able to appreciate the journey ahead of me. A quick stop at the drug store to pick up ear muffs and ski gloves, another stop at Timmy’s and I found myself parked at the border. Sporting my winter gear and proudly wearing my Montreal Canadiens jacket I started for my walk across the Rainbow Bridge.

I met an Indian grandmother walking with her grandson. We stopped midway to view the fireworks. They were nothing short of spectacular, the view from here uncomparable. It was loud, you could hear the thunderous effects of the fireworks echoing throughout the gorge. Very intense and a great way to start out the night. The Canadian side has the winter Festival of Lights in full swing. The entire parkway is lit up in beautiful colored lights, the falls glowing with shades of pink and purple. I felt a twinge of Christmas Spirit.

I chatted with the company I had met about the beauty of Canada, their first family vacation from India and Buffalo wings. We entered customs and went our separate ways. I had dreaded walking into customs. How do I explain what I am doing in the USA? Just wandering around? Would they let me in if I didn’t have a place to go? I did end up telling them just that, and added that I’d likely wind up at the casino, they waved me through.

I exited the customs office and in front of me was a sign. No, not the kind sent from some higher being that would lead me on some righteous path but a real sign. It read “Welcome to New York, The Empire State”. Now what to do from here?

I turned left to a parking area just outside of customs. There I saw a hard Rock Café lit up and could faintly hear the music. I figured where there is a Hard Rock, there is life so that’s where I headed. On my left which was across from the restaurant I notices a few plaques and then a few large buildings illuminated by colored strobe lights. I thought I would check it out. I noticed a patrol car driving by so I felt reassured that the area was surveyed by the local police. I began reading the plaques realizing that this was officially a State Park. I have wanted to visit a few during the summer to camp and while you can’t camp at this one it was neat to know I was visiting my first State Park!

I walked around the buildings. It is set back along the gorge yet the walkways are gated. I was hoping to view the falls from the American side but couldn’t figure a way to get closer. Walking back up the pathway I notice a bus shelter. It is covered but open on all sides. It is well lit and right along the road side. I set up home here for the night. Grabbing my pen and paper from my bag I see another patrol car drive by. I begin to wonder if this should make me feel safer or if I should be a little more worried.

I jot down a few notes about my journey thus far. A young couple passed by me with quite a distance between them. Not the hand-holding lovers I was hoping to see. What has happened to the days of a man taking a woman’s hand? Is chivalry really dead? With that thought, my phone rang. It was a good friend of mine checking up with me. We discussed my little situation before I left home and managed to clear my head a little. Hanging up, I was left to just sit there and at first felt a little awkward. My hopes of people watching were soon diminished, there was noone around. The streets were dead save for a car here and there headed home for the night.

A sudden urge struck me just then. I had never considered what I would do in the event I needed a ladies room. I have no idea where to go! I know the casino is close by so I decide that is where I need to be unless I can find a coffee shop before then. It is getting a little chilly so a warm reprieve would be welcoming right now. It doesn’t take long to realize I am not in Kansas any more. I am used to a Tim Horton’s on every street corner. Not here. No coffee shops around but I did find my way to the casino. I passed an Aviation Museum just beside the casino. It looks really interesting, a place I would love to visit on my next trip (In daytime hours for sure!). I looked at my cell, it was about 10:30pm.

The casino was quite busy and after a visit to the ladies room to clean myself up (now I really feel like a vagrant!) I couldn’t resist the urge to try my luck. I spent about 45 minutes trying to beat the bandits but to no avail. My phone rang and I talked for about a half hour in the casino lobby (being told all of the do’s and don’ts) before heading back to my park bench. It’s was getting quite cool out now but I wasn’t feeling the effects too badly. I curled my legs up, grabbed my book and began reading. I’ve been trying to finish this book for quite some time now, hopefully tonight will be the night.

Trying to focus but having a hard time as I notice several cruisers keep circling me. I am getting nervous at the thought of being arrested for vagrancy. Can they even arrest you for such a thing? A couple of hours later one finally stops and I know I am going to have to find a way to sanely describe why I am doing something so insane. The officer asks if I am okay. I explain to him that I am fine and ask if it is okay to be sitting where I am. He has no problem with that but points out the obvious. “It’s 1:11 am, you are a young woman sitting in the freezing cold, in a different country….reading a book”. He had a hard time comprehending why I was there but was happy to know I was okay. He smiled and drove away. Sitting back down with my book all I could think was “Why couldn’t I have spontaneously taken a ski trip for the night, or rented a room and ordered room service?”. I then realize that when I set my mind on doing something, it is seldom something small and mundane. That is who I am and I really just wanted to do something I would never normally do. Something spontaneous.

Getting cool I figured it was time to walk around a bit, check out my surroundings and then head back to the casino to warm up. I played a little more just to get feeling back in my legs. I am freezing yet it feels so good. Go figure! I stopped by the snack sop and picked up 1 hot dog, 1 pasta salad and 1 Mocha. Why a mocha? Cause I have no idea what it is and I’m being spontaneous! I eat my hot dog, toss out the salad (no, not toss the salad!) and add 6 sugar to my mocha. Back to wander the great outdoors! I found a Days Inn and thought of getting a room but decided against it as it’s just too safe, too predictable and they probably don’t have hot tubs anyways. I did notice a Denny’s was located inside so I knew where I’d likely do breakfast.

I found my way back to my bench and took out my pen and paper. A group of teens walked towards me and I began to panic just a little. Nothing to fear though as they walked right past me laughing and joking with one another. I turned to watch them head into the park. Listening to them I think back to my days as a teen. I am saddened that I spent those days so high that I never appreciated walking through the streets at night with friends. It is now 3:30am. I jotted down a few notes to myself and closed my eyes to hear the rumbling of the falls behind me. It was so peaceful and rejuvenating. A great way to clear one’s mind. I stroll some more and end up behind the casino. Not too sure how I had gotten there but feeling the need to make my way back to my bench. Spontaneous, yes….stupid…no.

As I walk across the parking lot leading to the Hard Rock I notice flashing lights. I could turn and run but that would make me look even more suspicious. Problem is the cruisers are directly across from my bench! Now I really feel like a whino, I have claimed a park bench as my own! The van the officers had pulled over was driving away just as I was walking past. The one officer that stopped to chat with me laughed and asked if I was really going back to do some more reading. We chatted about the casino and when they noticed my Canadiens jacket they threatened to escort me back over the border. We did have a good chat and they promised to keep a good eye on me for the rest of the night. I thanked them for being so kind and went back to my bench to write, then read.

I had another call from a good friend.. He did a great job of checking up on me tonight. While taking to him the officer drove by again and waved and not 5 seconds behind him was an ambulance pulling over to me. I thought this was it. They were committing me to the looney bin for evaluation. I was so scared walking up to them but it turns out all they wanted to know was how to see the falls. They were from Virginia. I talked with my buddy until close to 6am. It was still dark and I knew the sun would be up soon. I wanted to watch the sun come up from the rainbow bridge so it was time to hit Denny’s for a bite to eat, some hot tea (yes, you have to specify here if you want hot or cold tea) and to warm up.

I opted for the French toast, bacon and sausage. I am not usually a breakfast eater but I was in a different mode today. I did some more reading until I was finished eating, dressed back up in my gear and headed for the bridge. Now it is here I felt really stupid! When waking over I had to walk through a different exit as the marked exit was under construction. There were signs that directed pedestrians where to go to exit customs and enter USA. Well going back to Canada there were signs for the pedestrian entrance to Canada. I followed only to see the construction.

There was no way in so I turned around by the toll booths and planned on going in that way. I was brave enough to pass a sign that said “No pedestrians beyond this point” but it was the only way to go! I was starting to sweat as I noticed the door with big “No entry” signs on them. I went so far as to grab a door handle but I couldn’t bear to open it. What if it set sirens off and the cavalry came after me? I could see dogs attacking, swat team surrounding me. I was so scared so I walked back to where I started. Surely I had missed a sign somewhere. Nope, no sign. It seems pedestrians are not allowed into Canada. I stood like an idiot in the toll booth lanes wondering what to do. I finally hollered over to a toll booth attendant and he radioed for a customs officer to escort me in the building.

Passing through and on the bridge I stopped at the international boundary line to watch the sun come up. The fog of the night was just lifting off the water, the haze from the slight rain of the night lingered in the air. There was not a car to be seen crossing the bridge so I found it odd when I heard a truck come up behind me and stopped. I turned to see why. It was a customs official lowering the Canadian flag for Remembrance Day. I stood there with my hands at my side facing the flag until it was lowered and he drove away. It was such an honor yet so humbling to be there to see that. It was now 6:39 AM. A perfect salute to my journey into the night.

Spontaneity

I have been spending time lately going back through my journey this past 14months. I have been reading my blog entries and my early posts on the review boards. I am not too sure what I have been looking for except to see what has changed in my life. Where have I grown and when do I hold back. Is there anything I regret? Is there something I need to change? If I could do things differently, would I and if so, what would I do?

I am proud to say I am perfect! Ok, made me laugh as it’s the first thing that came to my mind so I wrote it! In reality, I suppose we could all change some things in our lives. I could have been a little less blunt at times but then I wouldn’t be honest. I could have opened up a little more at times that you can tell I have held back but that would leave me vulnerable. Is there anything I regret? No. I have learned not to regret making mistakes. I appreciate making them as I do my best to learn from them. I never make a choice without thinking it through, weighing the pros and cons and I usually opt in the best interest of others. There……that is one thing I would like to change.

My posts are carefully written, and for the sake of business they must be. I cannot just ramble my thoughts here for all of you to read without considering to some extent how it would affect you, my clients and my readers (or feelers for those of you reading my Braille version!). My life is very predictable and well thought out. No, it doesn’t always go as planned but I always feel the need to keep that predictability. Why?

Why can I not just be spontaneous? Why can I not just “do” without contemplating what I will be doing? Why must I have everything planned in detail as opposed to “just winging it”? I’ve thought a lot about this tonight. Never in my life have I just jumped feet first into something without researching what I would be doing. Yes, I made a wild and crazy choice to become an SP, but it wasn’t without doing my homework. So while I have found myself being more adventurous in my life, I still take no chances. I have never known how to let go that way. But in writing this I think I may have figured out why. It’s all about responsibility.

Somewhere in my messed up little head (yes, it’s very cluttered up there!) I have the notion that spontaneity equals irresponsibility. Rationalizing it right here and now, it doesn’t make any sense, I know. But that is my first reaction when I am contemplating doing something unplanned. If I just do it, I am being irresponsible. I do have responsibilities in my life, we all do. But if I do something spontaneous when all of my responsibilities are taken care of, is that so wrong? (This is where you all shake your heads NO!) I know it’s not, so how do I reprogram my way of thinking?

I want to feel free. Free to make my own decisions without worrying what others may think. Free to do things in my life for me and not for others. Why is it that I feel I do not have that right? I think I may have some searching within to be able to answer that. I do know that I have missed out on many great opportunities by being so practical and I don’t want to watch the train leave the station anymore! Anyone else out there left standing on that platform with me? Or maybe you used to be a train watcher and have learned how to board? Or…anyone with a psychology degree? I think I’m gonna need professional help with this one!

A day unlike any other!

He opens the door when I arrive. There he stood in a white dress shirt and his boxers. Today is unlike any other day. We usually kiss playfully in between talking about our day as we slowly remove pieces of our clothing. I put my arms around him, my lips upon his and pressed so hard against his body. Yes, we’ve met like this oh so many times before, but today is unlike any other.

He removed my pants, I fumbled to get my shoes off. He tripped over his boxers as they fell around his ankles. We couldn’t be naked with one another fast enough. I wanted to feel his warmth, have him take me in his arms. I ached for his passion on a day my sexual energy was most abundant.

I have spent the past week being teased and taunted by my own thoughts. I can be my own worst enemy. I have been so close to men, kissing them, touching them, teasing them with my flirtatious banter yet it seems so long since I have been naked with one. No, it really hasn’t been that long compared to most average women, but I am certainly not average. I love being in my thirties. I am in my prime and I love how erotic I feel. It is a high to be so full of sexual energy, something I never experienced in my twenties!

We try to talk because that is what we do. We have never been ones to make the other feel that our “relationship” is all about sex. Yes, it’s a wonderful part of what we have but it doesn’t end there. We truly enjoy each other’s company. Today, it’s all about sex! I can’t kiss him hard enough. His lips, his tongue….they are so intoxicating. His eyes capture everything that is happening between us at that very moment. They tell me he lusts for my fingers over his body. He thirsts for my passion and I am not holding back. He has me, all of me right now. He enters me in a way to say that he knows what he wants. Yes, he has all of me, I have nothing left to give. He has my eyes gazed upon his, my hands clenched on his back, my pussy throbbing, it has never been wetter.

It’s not a day like any other. I am not needy today, nor feeling vulnerable or relaxed. I am tense, my entire body tight and waiting for the relief that only an orgasm can give. I need to turn him over. I need to be on top of him, thrusting my hips into him. I have to take the lead, the control this one time. He doesn’t resist. I can’t control my body now. I want to bend down and kiss him yet I want to be propped up enough to look into his eyes. I love to see him tilt his head back and close his eyes. It is only a matter of a few short minutes that I climax. Yes, this is the moment. It should have been that big release I have hungered for. Oh, it was wonderful but it just wasn’t enough.

It has never been that an orgasm wasn’t satisfying for me. I have never cum to find myself not wanting to stop, not even for a second. I had more to give him and I was thankful he saved himself for my next round. I was right back up, bracing myself on his arms, his chest. I leaned down to kiss him and I stopped thrusting for just a minute or two. I wanted to remember just how soft his lips were and the taste of his kiss in this very moment. I can taste him as I write. And then it was time. I wanted to cum with him this time, I love that feeling of letting go together. For us both to reach that ultimate climax simutaneously. It gets me off just to know as I am contracting he is with me in that very same place.
It’s fierce. Not rough but fierce. Fast then slow enough for our lips to meet. Then we speed things up, short quick thrusts. My arms are shaking and I can’t control them so I lay my chest across his and place my head in his neck. He smelled so good. I wrapped my arms under his and up around his shoulders. I would use them as leverage since I seemed to have no control over my body. Fast, quick and hard we blended our bodies together. He barely manages to speak when he tells me he is about to come. That does it for me there. Both of us on the edge and I wanted to take in all of this. His labored breathing, his moans and his whispering voice. Just one more thrust and there we were, together. The orgasm of all orgasms. My entire body shaking uncontrollably. Not just my legs or my arms. No, it was all of me. My entire body was one large contracting muscle. I lay there with my head in his neck, kissing him between my panting breaths. I had to remove my body from his as we chuckled about my trembling.

I laid with my back against the sheets. There was nothing left but the most amazing, peaceful sense of awe. He turns to me and places his hands between my legs to feel my wetness. His hand just slides past my clit and slowly down to my inner thigh. It’s so smooth and silky, and I just lay there. It was a day unlike any other!

This break is torture!

Taking a break has become more of an unwelcome turn of events as opposed to the rejuvenating rest it was meant to be! It has been a week now and I’m getting antsy. I should be feeling more focused yet I seem to be more frazzled. I should be feeling more energy yet I find I am sleeping my days away. I am turning appointments away and then wondering later what the heck I am doing!

Yes, I miss what I do. I miss being touched and being the one to touch. I miss looking into a man’s eyes and seeing his desire for me. That is an addicting feeling, something I now realize has become a need in my life, no longer a want.

So yes, here I sit quite horny. I spent the entire day today tantalizing the idea of sex. And it was yet another erotic adventure that I want to share with you. Sex is so much more for me than the physical act of having sex. It is a play on my emotions, allowing my mind to wander with explicit curiosity. When I anticipate having sex I become very aroused especially when I know I am in a surrounding that sex is not an option. This can be one of two things.

I love to flirt with a man that I know I will never be able to have. A man that is beyond my reach but is still responsive to my advances. It’s the whole “Look but you can’t touch” thing that I find so arousing. A man like a co-worker. You know he is attached to another yet he teases you with his smile from across the room. His eyes flirt with you when they meet yours. You intentionally brush his arm when walking past him or touch his hand as you borrow his pen. This is most enjoyable with someone I would see regularly. It gives me something to look forward to throughout my day. Keeping it light and fun but always letting my thoughts get carried away.

The other is to flirt with a man that I know I may find myself naked with some day (yet never have) but in a surrounding that neither of us are able to be naked. By never being with him before it leaves me with a curiosity of the unknown. I don’t know how his tongue feels against my nipple but I can imagine his touch. I do not know how his body feels pressed against mine, flesh on flesh, but I can imagine the heat we create. I experienced this today and it made me so very wet. It’s having him rub my leg and wishing his hand would work its’ way further up my thigh. It’s kissing him, feeling his wet lips but not taking it to the level of being a deep passionate kiss. It’s gently pressing my body up against his but not giving in to the urge to grind against his groin. It’s all about being in control of that sexual energy physically but allowing your mind to take it to another level. Again, it’s the anticipation. This becomes all about my desire for him. It is not something I share with him, but more something that I savor for myself. I feel more aroused the less I make him aware of where my mind is at.

I consider myself a very sexual person, but for different reasons than what most would consider to be sexual. I do not dress in short skirts and low cut tops. I do not hit on every man that meets my path. Nor do I express myself verbally in such a forward manner that I come across as sexually versed. But I have imagination. I have the gift to feel the heat of a man’s hand through my jeans. I can visualize him making love to me in a way that is so real I could swear I feel his touch. I can look at him, see through his eyes and read what he needs from me. That to me is true sexuality.

Commercial Break

When things click. There are times in one’s life that can be classified as “life changing” or “awakening”. When you realize how crazy life is…..and then things just “click”. For some it may be when you wake up and see your spouse of several years and you wonder “Who are you?”. For some it may be when you wake up alone in bed and wonder “Who am I?” I have been through both of the above and yes, they have changed my life. Those moments in my past have forced me to make some very important decisions, and those decisions I made freed me from much conflict in my life. Through fighting to save my soul and at times my sanity, in the most difficult times in my life, I learned to trust my instincts. I trust that I will act on my life in a way to better it. I have learned how important it is to feed my self spiritually and take all things in stride. So now I find myself taking another stride. And with that comes some decisions that need to be made. So I must trust that I know what I need to do.

It is time to step away for just a bit. Time to focus on things in my life that cannot be taken care of without a great deal of energy on my part. When I first introduced myself to all of you, I was honest. Honest about me, my intentions in this business, my goals and my limitations. I made a promise to myself that if at any time I could not give everything I have to you during our time together that I would step away, so for awhile this is what I must do. I know that this is not an uncommon thing for a lady in the industry. And for a multitude of reasons I am sure. But this is the best explanation I am able to give to all of you.

I have taken a great deal of pride in my relationship with all of you. I have been careful to not cross any lines. I have made it a rule of mine to not get personal. I do not question your lives or anything personal that may leave you feeling exposed. I do that out of respect for all of you and I hope that that same respect will be given in return. I cannot expose myself personally and I hope you all understand that. I have some wonderful clientele and I am sure many of you will be wondering if all is well with me so I want you to know that yes, I am well. I just have to make a few changes in structuring my time to allow me to focus on some unexpected events in my life.

I am sure this will lead to rumors and people talking, they always do. I just please ask that you do not feel the need to assume things you do not know, give in to another’s speculations or voice an opinion that may be suggestive of things that just aren’t so. That’s all I can do is ask, and trust that you have enough respect for me to acknowledge my request.

So how will things change for the next little while? Basically you will just be seeing a lot less of me. On the boards, taking appointments, my blogs….these things will be kept at a minimum for a few months. I will still answer my emails and pm’s but not as often. I will still be taking appointments but it will only be one or 2 days a week at most. And my appointments will be limited to gentleman I have seen previously. Yes, this is just temporary and Belle will be back as you know her. And with lots of great things to come when your regularly scheduled Belle returns, I promise!

Down Days

I have talked a lot about the greatness of being Belle. The wonderful opportunities this business has afforded me. The person I have been allowed to become in an environment that is safe to do so. In many ways Belle has now become a part of me. It does not feel odd to be referred to as Belle anymore. It seems quite natural actually. So natural in fact that I have referred to myself as Belle to people that have no idea who the hell I am talking about! You know those conversations where you refer to yourself as a third party? Yes, I have even referred to myself as Belle in those conversations. I love her spirit and her ability to let go of her inhibitions. But there are days when I wonder just who I am and who I am expected to be.

This goes back to one of my first blog entries when I break the news to all of you that I am just a simple small town girl who wakes up with bed head like any other woman. I feel there are days, and I suppose today is one of them for me to feel inspired to write about it, that I just wonder who I really am. On the one side I just love sitting in my pj’s next to the fire, enjoying the quiet simple life of camping, jogging pants and a good book. Leading a life of many great acquaintances but preferring to keep my life private. Keeping my time alone as just that, alone. I am content to be alone, watching movies or playing poker on the computer.

On the other hand I love being playful, adventurous and sexual. I crave a man’s desire and hunger for his passion. I have spent most of my adult years wanting to find a way to incorporate all of that into my life and now I have found it. It is awakening both spiritually and physically. I have overcome so much this past year that in the past has held me back from living life. I love this new found part of me.

So how do I handle the days when I feel like being the “book reading Belle” when I have appointments scheduled and I am expected to be the “hungry for passion” Belle? We all have those days, days when you’re expected to be someone that you’re just feeling up to being. You know, those days when your engine quits and you walked 5 blocks in the rain to get to work and you are expected to greet everyone with a cheerful “Good Morning, how may I help you?” To say that we as escorts have bad days is true but it is no different than any of you. There are just days you don’t want to be you. As there are days I just don’t want to be me.

Luckily for me my situation is much more positive than most as my job revolves around pleasure. It is seldom that I ever leave an appointment not feeling better than when I arrived. I find myself being complimented, wined and dined, and treated so wonderfully that it would be hard not to put a smile on my face. If it has ever been noticed by a gent that I appear not to be the same Belle he may be used to, it has never been brought up to me. But that is not to say that it doesn’t show. Just that the men I see are too respectful to say anything.

Constructive criticism is part of the job. I think if you have the class to be successful in this business then you need to take that criticism with a smile and a mission to apply it effectively. So, while I love the compliments and the great reviews please don’t hesitate to say when you are disappointed or feel let down. I can only better who I am and make your experience more enjoyable when I know my faults. We all like to think we don’t have any but I know I have mine. I just choose to pretend I don’t at times!

Disney Dreams

Dreams were meant to come true. This I now know for sure. I had the chance this past 10 days to live my childhood dream. I went to meet Mickey at Disney World! For those of you that have been there, I am sure you know where I am coming from. For those of you that haven’t but have always dreamed of doing so I say to you, “If you ever get the chance to live your dream, then don’t give it a second thought!”

This is yet another moment in my recent life that I have learned just how important Belle has become to me. It is all a process of learning to let go of my “just surviving” mode and live life a little. I have always been a worry wart. Worrying about tomorrow, next month, next year and never taking the time out to enjoy what today has to offer me. Yes, I could have spent this money on finishing my basement, buying that new kitchen counter top I’ve been meaning to save for or banked it all for a rainy day. To me that is a positive investment because I would have something to show for the money I have spent. I just never realized that memories, while not a physical show for my money, did more for my life than anything material ever could.

I started planning for this trip back in June this year but really it started as a little girl. I remember watching Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and Snow White as early as 5. I have always been a realist. I never bought into the fairytale dream of a handsome prince whisking me off into the sunset. That was not my dream as a child. But I did dream of the castles, the larger than life brick buildings that held the key to a fantasy. The dresses, the music, the idea of being in a far away place where everyone dances and sings. The Disney dream was just that for me as a little girl.

They say that Disney is for the kids but I have to disagree. Yes, the smiles on my kid’s faces were worth millions. I could go on and on about the memories we made as a family but I don’t feel it appropriate to share those details here. But I would like to share with you my dream and just how Disney affected me.

I was on the boat when it hit me. A short boat ride would take me from the resort to Magic Kingdom. And there it was…..larger than life, Cinderella’s castle. It’s just as the movies show it. A beautiful blue, lit up and glowing even though it was only noon. The windows I dreamed of looking out of that overlooks all of Magic Kingdom. I think I may have even cried at the sight.

After checking in at the gates I was left standing in Main St. USA. The shops all detailed in 1900’s architecture. I look to my left and there I see Donald Duck! I kissed him on his bill and got his autograph. He wasn’t too happy to see I was holding “Pal Mickey” and made me remove it before I got my picture taken with him.

I carried on through Main Street in awe. This is it, my dream, my fantasy and I am standing in the middle of it. I wish there was a way to express what that was like to experience. I worked my way to the steps of the castle and made my way up. Disney has a way of making you feel like you are that inner child. I was like a kid, running up and down the steps, jumping at the chance to meet all of my childhood character friends. Mickey and Minnie, Pluto and Daisy. Then Chip and Dale, Lilo and Stitch, the Princesses and yes, I even ate dinner with Prince Charming! I dined in the castle for lunch with Cinderella, Belle, Wendy, snow White and The Fairy Godmother. I ate dinner with Mickey and his pals. I marched along side the most elaborate parades, and wept while watching the Wishes fireworks show. Perhaps a little too sentimental I know but I was just so inspired by the fantasy.

I fell in love with everything that Disney stands for. The beauty of the parks, the smiles of everyone around me and the nature of all of those that represent what Walt himself dreamed to build. A place where life is simple, everything is wonderous and where dreams really do come true!

Thanks so much to all of you, those that I have met and those that just enjoy reading the things I have to say. You sharing in my excitement has shown just how great you all really are. I couldn’t have experienced all of this if it wasn’t for all of you. I just hope to give back a small piece of what you have all given to me.

Another day at the office

I hope you can all understand where I am coming from here. If not, then I think you should all do something about it! I went to the anonymous clinic today for my testing. It’s the fourth or fifth time I have been through this process since becoming an escort last September. It’s not fun, no, definitely not fun. But it is the responsible thing to do so I do it.

So I get there and I have gotten used to how this works. Basically you are known as a number as opposed to a name. This is the one time I do not mind being just a number. My family doctor does not know what I do in this business, nor do I care to let him know so this anonymous testing is a great way to go, except when you get a nurse that feels you need to be saved.

First I get the usual chit chat as I fill out the forms. Even though it’s anonymous I still feel the need to stretch the truth on the questionaire. “Have you had sexual intercourse with anyone since your last visit?” Um, I think that is why I am here, no? “How many people have you had sexual intercourse with?” “Including my husband”? I ask. They don’t have a very good sense of humor in this office! Three. “Have you ever had unprotected sex”? A very valid question if the third question above this one didn’t ask me to list how many children I have. I am now the Virgin Mary.

I am chuckling to myself as I continue answering questions. I notice that the nurse is sizing me up. No, not in a way that I would like (although she really isn’t my type). And here starts the spiel. “It is not too often that a woman as healthy looking as yourself comes into this office”. Well, thank you I say, I hide it well! She is a little confused but I am having fun playing with her now. She goes on to tell me of the services that are available for “women like me”. So I ask her with interest “Oh, you offer CSI classes”? Now really confused she asks what I mean by that. I went on to explain:

“Well, women like me are interested in Crime scene investigation and I have been thinking for some time to take up a few courses. And women like me enjoy yard work, do you have any brochures on perennials? And women like me are mothers, I’ve been having trouble with my teenage daughter, how can you help me out with her? Women like me work for our money just as you do, perhaps you could direct me to the best accountant in the area to give me the biggest tax breaks. Oh, and women like me love sex…..now I am sure you have a brochure all about that one don’t you”?

The nurse now asks me to calm down stating that she didn’t intend to offend me. “Now just how could I be offended, you simply asked me what a woman like me is doing in a place like this”. Just what are you trying to imply but that comment I ask. Are you saying that women like me are not as likely to contract a communicable disease as opposed to women not like me? Is it not your job to be understanding and supportive? To make it easier to find help and be safe in this disease ridden world? It is no wonder why there are such stereotypes out there about this business, I think to myself.

This is our government talking. This is how they look at us. Do I find this frustrating? Hell yes! I know that I shouldn’t but I do. I look around the office and everything there is to read, every brochure, every poster, every book is all about sex or drugs! You want to help these women, and I mean really help them? Yes, educate us about sex, give us free condoms and test us anonymously. But……empower us! Teach women how to love themselves instead of running to their pimp to be beaten. Teach them self defense, beg Karate schools to offer a significant discount to ladies referred to them by the office. Contact the local high schools and colleges and see what they can offer these women and have that information readily available in the office. Advertise government programs, spirituality courses, work opportunities and computer training available for women like us!

I could go on and on here. If you feel so bad for the women that lead this type of lifestyle then why not examine why they do what they do. That is how you help them. Give them alternatives, a way out if they feel they need one. Don’t belittle us. Those of us in the office are not the ones that need saving, it’s the ones that don’t make it to the office that do!

Flirtatious Banter

The “flirtatious banter” dilemma I face being an escort is quite complex so I am looking for your thoughts on this one! I want your honesty here so please do not hold back. First let me say that I love to flirt. I love to be part of someone’s fantasy, to be an object of their desire. No, not to be treated as an object but to feel as though I am desired. Flirting keeps this fantasy fun. It is erotic to have a sexual fantasy but even more so when you imagine who that person would be to partake in that fantasy. And to top that off would be to flirt with that person about that fantasy.

To flirt with someone is stimulating for me. When I flirt with a man, it is not so much the intention to follow through as it is the rush of feeling wanted and being teased as well as to do the teasing! It is not to say that these flirtations are empty as I do follow through with the fantasy when I am intrigued or aroused by someone (You know exactly who you are!) but it is still not the intent.

So here is where I am at:

I am very forward about what I like, what I do not like and the things I am willing to try (or not to try) for that matter. In my personal life flirting is not an issue. While I may do it lightheartedly with a coworker I am aware it never has the possibility for potential. It is harmless as there is no intention on my part to carry it through to anything more than simple flirting.

As an escort I am running my own business. It is expected of me to consider everything I say and do when promoting my business or when simply bantering with those that I have met through this business. I am very careful to not disrespect anyone within the industry and there are many things I am concerned about when I banter flirtatiously with the wonderful gents I have met.

First of all I never wish to make a man feel that I expect him to see me. I never question to him or even myself how often they choose to see me or why they see me. That is not my business. My business is to see them when they choose to see me. If that means visits months apart or hours apart, I will not approach any gentleman as to when he will be seeing me next. To me that would be highly unprofessional, perhaps even to go so far as seeming desperate.


I would be humiliated if I ever thought to shame someone into seeing me or to make them feel obligated to me in anyway. This is one large candy store and we all love different flavors. I would never allow myself to be offended by a client of mine (being someone I have seen, not to say that that client is mine) seeing another lady. In fact I encourage it all of the time! I believe that it is perhaps unhealthy for a gent to see a single lady exclusively. Yes, I have had/have gents to see me exclusively for a time and then they move on. This is a good process, a healthy one and is par for the course. That is how this industry works.

So with all of that being said is it possible to be endlessly flirtatious without the party involved feeling as though there is pressure to book an appointment with me? I wonder this often and worry that while I am enjoying playing with the idea of an encounter with someone that they perhaps may feel pressured in some way. Do you feel obligated to see a lady because you have spoken in a chat room? Do you feel the need to see a lady more than once to not have her feel as though your first time with her was unsatisfying? In your experiences as a hobbyist, what are your pet peeves or things that put you off from seeing a lady? And lastly, does an escort flirting with you seem like a desperate cry for an appointment?

I am very curious to hear what you all think of this. I know I have a lot of readers out there so I had better get a lot of comments! Post anonymously if you like, it is not my concern as to who you are but what you think!

9/11

The world we live in.

Today is a sad day. For Canadians, for Americans, for Muslims, for all human beings. No longer are the days that we are safe anywhere. In our homes, in our streets, in our country or abroad. This is a fact, our world will never be what it was pre-9/11. So what do we do from here?

Do we live in fear? Do we raise our children to doubt all humanity? Do we stop living our lives and do our best to simply sustain ourselves? Do we let them win? I think we all know the answer to that. We have all listened to the news, read the reports and watched those planes crash if once, then a million times. Our country’s leaders have begged us for five years to continue living, to support your country….to unite and be strong.

As a whole, that sounds easy to do. We have discussed these issues around conference tables at work. We have all shed a tear with a family member on the phone. We have all gone to bed and prayed for all of the victims and their families of 9/11. But how do we as individuals overcome what we have lived through and carry on emotionally in our new world?

Movies are being produced by the dozens, documentaries about the attacks. I have watched most every one of them. And through each one, each news clip, each interview, each article I see the same message. Live today for today. The victims on Flight 93. Out of every single one of them on that flight and the 50 some odd calls that were made from that plane, only one call went to 911. Where did all of the other calls go out to? Moms and Dads, husbands and wives, sisters, brothers, friends and kids. What does that say about us as human beings? To me it says that when we are facing death we look for comfort from those we love. Those loved ones that received those calls could have done nothing physically to save their loved ones on board that flight. So why were they called and not 911?

Because we are aware that our bodies are just our bodies. It is our sprit that needs comforting and nourishing. We can’t get that from a 911 dispatcher. We get that from those that we have bonded with in our lives. Let them teach us that. Let them teach us that we should not take for granted how our loved ones feed our souls, how our friends support us and how our neighbors lend a helping hand.

Take just a small minute out of your day today to pray. For the victims, their families and each other that have been affected by 9/11 in one way or another. Hug your kids, kiss your partners, tell Mom and Dad you love them. Shake a friend's hand, visit with your neighbor and be thankful that we have all been given another day to do so. God Bless.

My first Role Play!

Role playing, as most of you know, is something I do not do. Yes, I am aware that I lose some business because of that restriction but it comes down to me not sacrificing myself for the sake of a dollar. It is just something I am not comfortable with and I think that some role-playing situations have the potential to be taken too far….a risk I am not willing to take. I was propositioned a while ago about a certain role playing scenario. After many emails we managed to script to every last detail how we could make this a mutually erotic event. After giving it some thought I decided to give it a try, only because it would involve another woman and I could even choose her! Acting is not one of my strong suits by any means and I made this gent aware of that but promised to do my best. I talked to an escort that I feel very comfortable with and I thought she would be perfect for what he was looking for (who will remain nameless as I feel it only respectful of her to do so). So here goes:

The Story Line:

My lover has just come back from a long 6 week business trip. We have been apart for quite some time and are so anxious to see one another again. We arrange to meet after I finish work the day his plane lands. I arrive at 6, still wearing my business attire and it just so happens that I bring a friend with me. Her and I have recently met, her just joining our firm but she has yet to meet my lover. Hmmm, wonder where things will go from here!.................

My girlfriend and I knock on the door. He opens the door and I jump into his arms to greet him with a hard passionate kiss. After minutes of embracing, our lips locked together I apologize to my girlfriend for not introducing her. “Jack, this is Angela, the lady that joined our firm while you were away, I hope you don’t mind but I invited her home with me to meet you”.

He greets Angela with a smile and a handshake and they say their hellos. I can see he approves of her slim body and beautiful blonde hair as he shows her into the living room. She takes a seat on the sofa as I remove my suit jacket and loosen Jack’s tie. Jack and I have a wonderful relationship which is based mostly on an equally balanced sexual appetite. I cannot resist placing my hands on his chest, wrapping my arms around him and showing him just how much I have missed him. He returns my kiss with great passion. We sit on the sofa, I in his lap and we do some catching up. Angela seems a little uncomfortable, feeling the sexual energy in the room and knowing that it is her presence that is holding us back. I have been taking about Jack’s homecoming for weeks and she knows how special I wanted our first night together at home to be. I am sure she is questioning why I would even think to invite her to our home tonight, knowing what I have had planned for some time.

She is shy and I have been trying to befriend her knowing how awkward it must be to be the “new girl” at the office. There is something that has attracted me to her, her sweetness or perhaps her innocence. Angela is very quiet yet has a certain curiosity in her eyes for adventure. Although quite reserved, I get the sense that this energy she feels around her is arousing. We chat about life, and while making conversation my hands begin to roam Jack’s body. I tease him with my fingertips, running them over his groin and between his thighs. We kiss between conversation and I open my legs for his hand to explore.

While his hands are focused on my body, he keeps his eyes focused on Angela. He certainly doesn’t want her to feel out of place but I know this is the greatest gift I could bring home for him. This is our dream, our fantasy and his innate desire. I giggle a little as I excuse myself to Angela, explaining that I need to loosen my man up some. He has had a long day of traveling and it’s time I make him a little more comfortable. I straddle him on the couch and begin to unbutton his dress shirt. “I am sorry for this Angela” he says, “She tends to get a little carried away sometimes”. Angela chuckles at his comment and although slightly embarrassed, she continues to watch as I undress.

His shirt undone, I run my fingers through the hair on his chest. The two of them continue to converse while I bring my lips to his neck. I whisper in his ear that I plan on seducing him in front of her. I felt him get hard beneath me. From there my tongue works down, tasting his sweat that has formed on his chest. I massage his arms as I begin to grind against him. I look to Angela and give a wink. She is enjoying the tease she is witnessing.

He again apologizes to her as I start to fiddle with his belt. “Isn’t he handsome?” I say to her as I work his zipper undone. She nods and giggles stating that he is a very nice man and I could have found no better. I ask her if she minds that I play with him a little and she nervously smiles. Angela says that she has never watched before and that it would be fun to do so.

His penis, now in my hand, oozes just a little when she says that. I work him with my fingers, stroking him gently and trying to relax him. He feels uncomfortable for Angela yet so turned on by having her watch. I slide my body slowly down his thigh, over his knee and to the floor. It is there, on my knees that I take him into my mouth. He tries to talk to Angela without breaking his train of thought but I know he won’t be able to much longer. She asks him if he likes it when I do that to him. He says it is so pleasurable to feel the heat from my mouth wrapped around him. He can feel himself swell as I take in his shaft inch by inch. She asks if she can watch us have sex. He smiles and I agree if it okay with him. Without any further questions, I slowly stand, take her hand and lead her into the bedroom. He follows close behind.

Angela takes a seat on the bench near the bed as Jack and I begin our undressing, he completely in the nude but I keep my bra and panties on. He likes to see me this way, to keep my undergarments on until he must have me. It is fun to know we have an audience, it adds a certain kind of erotica and I now see just why voyeurism is so sought after. Playfully I toss him back on the bed and straddle myself over top of him. There is no time for the soft lovemaking we are used to. This is sex, and it will be wonderful. Without feeling the need to hold back any longer I rest my body on his and make love to him with my lips. He thrusts his groin up to meet mine and we continue until I remind myself that there is a very hot sexy blonde that may appreciate a better view. I lift up on my knees to see if Angela is enjoying and Jack invites her to sit on the bed next to us. She readily accepts.

I move down his body to taste him again. I can see Angela, she wants to play too. I raise my eyebrows to her and smile as if to say “Go ahead and touch him”. As I work his shaft with my tongue I take her hand and place it on his chest. Stunned but very eager she slowly guides her fingertips through his chest hair and over his arms. I sit up and ask her if she has ever been kissed by a woman. She tells me that she didn’t even realize she had wanted to be until now. Jack rolls over to give us some room and I walk on my knees closer to her. I take her face in my hands, close my eyes and softly kiss her lips. Slow gentle kisses to be sure I make this a pleasurable experience for her.

I keep it slow and soft until she pulls away and opens her eyes. The eyes say everything and I know she enjoyed her first. With Jack watching, I lay her next to him and undress her. I kiss every part of her body that I expose but keep her as scantily clad as I, purely for Jack’s arousal! This is, after all, my gift to him.

I turn from Angela to him. I know she is comfortable with what is about to take place. I kiss him and take my tongue to where I left off. Surprisingly Angela follows. Her tongue touches mine and our eyes meet. She is hungry for me and for him. I close my eyes to fully be able to taste her lips and take in the thought of us both pleasing my man. He caresses her bottom so gently. With both of us on either side of him he has a wonderful view. Our bottoms in the air, we keep his hands quite busy. He moves our panties to the side of our lips and fingers just inside. After ensuring we are both wet for him we turn to share in a kiss. Panties and bras removed, it’s time we take this to the next level.

Both of us placing our pussies over each of his legs, we grind. We grind, we kiss and we explore each other’s bodies. I ask to watch the two of them become more intimate. Angela straddles him and slowly takes his head between her swollen lips. I bring my head down to her pussy and taste her sweet juices as she lowers herself onto him. I taste him, I taste her and I raise my pussy to his lips for him to taste me. We take turns her and I to please him. He has great stamina so I know he can take the pressure and not release until I am good and ready for him to. With her upright on him I raise myself to be upright against her. He is now left with the sight of my flowing hair down my back. I move with her body, pressing as tightly as I can against her.

I can feel her wetness mixing with mine and his fullness entering her. We kiss and continue to keep our lips locked until she lets out the most amazing moan. He head tilts back and I hold her steady as he pumps away at her. Her cumming will bring his release too. She has no control right now, her head still back I take turns with her nipples in my mouth. Holding her tight, I ride the wave with her. Harder and faster and then, there he is. He is there with her, in a place so wonderful as they come down from their glorious high.

Thinking it is done I slide myself off of him as she sits herself up. Then, feeling the need to have me pleased she lays me on my back and takes my sopping wet pussy into her mouth. With a very quick tongue lashing directly against my clit she takes me to that place in just a few short minutes. It is so amazing to me that this is her first time. She was sweet, she was passionate and together the three of us had a very erotic night together.

As I was leaving that evening Jack pulled me aside to say “Thank you”. It turned out that this was an experience that I didn’t even know I would enjoy as much as I did. No, “Thank you” I said, and that was it. A man I had never met before, and woman that I have never had sex with before. And in just a few short hours we created an experience that most outside couples could only dream of! It’s just amazing to me, so very amazing.

Sex for one

One of my favorite movies is City of Angels. Yes, I can cry just like the rest of ‘em when watching a sappy chic flick. This is a love story and any love story with Nicholas cage immediately becomes one of my favorites. He plays and angel of sorts who walks the earth, unable to be seen and brings those dying to the world beyond.

Long story short, he falls in love with an ER doctor, Meg Ryan. She is able to feel his presence, and she too falls in love with him. There is a scene in that movie that is in a bedroom. It is dark, the only light entering the room is the moon shining through the window. Meg feels him in the room with her as she lays herself on the bed. She is wanting him to touch her, to make wild passionate love to her.

Ever since watching this movie I have wondered, is it possible to bring yourself to that ultimate climax without ever being touched? Last night I had to put it to the test. Now perhaps only women will be able to relate to this experience as we are much more visual than men as a rule. It is not so much the actual touch of a man that arouses me as it is the look in his eyes while he is touching me.

I lay myself in my bed, completely naked with only a white sheet across my body and I let my mind wander. Trying to find a moment that I can place myself in. A time of passion that I can recall every breath of his on my cheek. A time when I am aware of how he smells, how his skin feels against mine and I can see the need for me in his eyes. And I find it, place myself in it and my journey has begun.

I will not allow myself to move my hands from beside me. There is no outer stimulation other than the sheet rested over me. I think of looking at him, his body hovering mine and I am gazing in his eyes. He has not entered me, we are just laying there feeling our bodies pressed together. I taste his lips, his tongue meets mine and we softly exchange kisses. So gentle, small moments of our lips just holding together and then passionate and hard anticipating what is about to happen. Then back to soft and gentle, not wanting to rush into the act but to savor what is happening between us right then.

My body begins to sway, left to right and slowly up and down my hips wanting to feel what I am envisioning. I know I have to focus so deeply on being there, not trying to be there or imagining what is was like. I have to be there, in that very moment.

I can feel how wet he has made me. As he moves his lower body over mine I feel that wetness. It is smooth, almost a silky feel and he is spreading it over my thighs. I press my hips into him and he slides his lower body up to meet mine. Again and again I feel him gently gliding his body across mine, each time feeling a more intense need for him to enter me.

I know I am wet, I can feel it oozing from my lower lips yet I cannot allow myself to feel nor taste. As I move my body, withering under the sheet I notice how lightly the sheet wisps over my clit. A wrinkle in the sheet, a crevice that I have found and I work my clit over it, the only physical stimulation I can feel outside of my vision.

I take myself back, not wanting to let myself lose the moment. I don’t want to think about laying in bed alone trying to recreate something that has happened. I have to make myself believe that it is all happening right now. My eyes are closed, I do not want to bring the outside world in. I am ready for him to enter me as his eyes tell me he can no longer wait for me.

The final time his lower body slides up mine he finds his way into me. No guiding him, his body knows its’s way. He has been here many times before. My legs spread just a little, enough to let him in but not completely. I love to feel myself open up to him. I look into his eyes and he returns my gaze. There is no need to say anything, it’s all said in our eyes. I smile to him, wanting him to know how wonderful he makes me feel. With each thrust he enters a little deeper but we keep it slow. I know that soon it will come to be that we can’t make it happen fast enough so I just allow myself to feel the anticipation of that moment.

My hands are now fists that have the sheet beneath me clenched tightly. How I ache to rub my hands through my thighs, make them wet and feel my swollen lips. This is an amazing feeling, to be so aroused, so close to climax and not have any outside stimulation to bring that on.

I am back with him, looking into his eyes. I tell him that I want to cum, but I don’t. I want so bad to feel that release but I don’t want to lose where we are right then. When I cum it is over, and I want this to last all night. He tells me he wants me to cum. I know he can feel when I do and that is an arousing feeling for him. He can feel me tighten inside as the muscles begin to contract, releasing all of that passion unto him. I am ready to let go.

I begin to wonder now if this will really happen. I am so ready to feel it, to let go but this aching need to touch myself has become overwhelming. Holding the sheet underneath me I rock my body up and down. I am thrusting my hips to the sheet over me, only barely feeling the light sensation it gives to my clit. A sweat has broken out and I can feel the sheet stick a little when I move. It is hot underneath and I am amazed the physical response to what I am experiencing in my mind.

We are no longer taking our time but in a need to reach our destination. He is holding out for me. He wants to feel me cum, that will bring him to his climax so I give myself to him. My arms wrapped under his and around his back I hold him tightly, using his back as leverage as I thrust my hips into him. Harder each time and I tell him I am there and as I close my eyes I know he is watching me as I orgasm. This excites him and as my body tightens, my inside walls pulsating all around him, I tell him to cum for me. His arms shaking, trying to hold himself above me, he thrusts deeper and deeper until he finally lets go too.

I can see his face. I watch him as he releases. Now I am there, I can feel it. It’s right there and I have to reach out to it. Harder and faster I rock myself up and down. The sheet below tight in my fists, my head raised slightly in the air and held back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. The heat, the sweat, the moaning and the panting. I am there, it’s all a part of me…..and somehow, without touching myself from the time I lay myself onto the bed I let go.

I have never experienced and orgasm like that. It is not that it was any better than the best, just that it was different. Something I never thought possible, especially for me. I always have needed a lot of clitoral stimulation, usually light and gentle just to get aroused. To visualize a passion like that, so intense and erotic and to actually feel everything as though it were happening as I see it was an amazing experience for me.

Yes, an intense orgasm can be reached without any outer stimulation. It took much longer for me to reach that climax than if I had manually created that moment but the trying to get there was the best part of it all for me. The only down side to this experience? There was no feeling of him collapsing unto me. I missed having him roll onto his back, my head on his chest and his arms around me. This experience could never replace the real thing but at a time when the need is there but he is not, it’s a great alternative!

So what's next?

Just what do I aim for ahead? I have achieved so much more than I could have ever expected in this business. Yet I think it still has so much to offer me, and I so much more to offer to it.

But where do I go from here? I know that I have alot to learn of myself. I am just getting to know who I am through Belle. She has introduced me to a whole new innerself that I have searched for most of my young adult life. A connection has been made and now it is time to better strengthen that bond.

I hope in the future to continue the same journey that I began just a year ago. I know that there will be new paths and I am eager to travel them. I anticipate many wonderful things for Belle and hopefully a positive contribution to the escort industry as a whole.

I have many plans, ideas and ventures I am anxious to delve into. I hope that they are successful and enhance my journey. To stay neutral would only limit me and that is not my intention. I want to grow, both personally and professionally and in knowing that my time in this business will be short stayed it think it is time to take another step forward.

I am excited about this coming year but for many different reasons than I had a year ago. Then, for me, was an awakening of sorts. Sounds corny I know but that is truly what it had been. I have found in myself this energy and spirit that has made me feel alive again, now I can focus on channelling it to something greater. I now know that I can be successful in this business and I can do so by just being me. I feel confident about that, I no longer question if I am good enough to be one of them.

As this will be my last entry in the "First Year" series I just want to say thanks so much for allowing me to be me, accepting who I am and supporting all that I have chosen to do. I wouldn't be where I am without all of you. Cheers, to new beginnings, happy endings and experiences like no other!

Belle's top 3 "Firsts"

A year of firsts. There have been so many of them. This past year has been a great adventure for me with some amazing events I never thought I would be a part of. I am risking a certain degree of criticism by writing this but I have also made it a commitment of mine to share part of Belle with you so I will continue to do that here with my top three firsts. (Not in any particular order as each was erotic in a class of itself)

1) I will put an end to a few inquiring minds by first commenting on my blog entry about an experience where I questioned to all of you, fantasy or reality. Yes, it was reality and what a reality it was.

The setting: A nice cozy room, 2 ample beds and just the right amount of lighting to figure out what belonged to who.

The characters: Myself, a gent I have had the pleasure of spending a great amount of time with this past year and yes, another gent that I have become very close to. (As a side note I have to mention that neither gent had met prior to this night)

The plot: 2 men and me and a great deal of choreography mixed with imagination. We had planned on this meet for some time, both wanting to give to me my fantasy. Plenty of testosterone but not more than I could handle. My heart pounding and an arousal like no other. A fantasy of 2 men pleasing only me, attentive to my desires.

The conclusion: Wow. An amazing experience that could not have been planned any better. It was not like how you see it in the movies. It was not porn, it was real…oh so real. One of the most erotic encounters I have or likely ever will be a part of.

2) Feeling a woman’s kiss, tasting her sweet body, caressing her smooth skin and fondling her wonderful breasts. This year was a first for all of that for me. Again, an experience like no other. To run my hands through her hair, and feel her wet lips pressed against mine was another fantasy come true. A touch so different than a man’s, so soft and gentle. And the beauty to have had the chance to experience so many different forms of this fantasy keeps me yearning for the next. Another erotic first.

3) I wrote in a blog entry some time ago of my fantasy, yet a very simple one of sorts. To experience a certain passion that I have never been a part of before. To look into a man’s eyes and feel his need for me, like a hunger that needs to be fed. I think every woman has a desire to be wanted like this. To feel like there is no other he would want to be with. He must have me and I must have him. It is a need, no longer a want. I have now felt that need, that passion, that desire. It is addicting, very much like a drug. I could never describe what it feels like without taking away from the experience. I can only hope that all of you have that chance if not now then at some time in your life to feel that. I won’t need to describe it to you, you will know if and when you have felt it. Totally and completely euphoric, it leaves you wanting more. Another erotic first!

The men that make me

A few weeks into the business and everything was great. Many calls, compliments and stellar reviews. Each visit is different from the last. Different personalities, different likes and dislikes but all in all a great time. Now, one year later and I have had an amazing opportunity to explore sex from many different angles…..literally. I hate using the term “Client” or “Customer” especially when I am referring to gents that I see on a regular basis. I know it sounds a little over the line but I do prefer to call them friends so that is what I shall do.

My first regular gent was one of the first to respond to me when I started posting on the boards. He was very supportive, encouraging and always willing to answer any questions I may have had. We first met just a week or so into my venture and we continue to meet a year later.

He is very soft spoken, and surprisingly single. Always respectful, we are able to engage in wonderful conversation…..about life in general and the goings on in the business. He has befriended many of the ladies and the guys on the boards and has become our “knight in shining armor” of sorts. I think he has a great sense of what us women endure in the course of a day and a respect for the business. We spend a lot of time emailing one another, chatting in the chat rooms and of course some one on one play time when our schedules allow it. A very good friend who truly respects me and what I chose to do with my life.

Then there is another friend who has never failed to lift me when things have me down. He never misses an opportunity to compliment me, encourage me and thank me for what I have brought to his life. It is uplifting to know that I somehow play a positive role in someone’s life after our time together has ended. That is what this is all about for me. Yes, it can be a sleezy business if that is how you choose to conduct yourself. But when you take the time to take something spiritually from the experience it makes it that much more rewarding. I need to know that what I provide for them makes them feel good and changes their life even if in some small way. This man never hesitates to share those changes with me, to let me know that our time together means something more to his life than just simply a sexual experience.

It is friends in the business that have helped me to see the changes in myself before I have noticed them myself. They see a sense of confidence in me that I have never had in my life. One gentleman said that he could not believe my confidence walking into the room knowing that I was fairly new to the business. I knew starting out that I had to appear that way when first meeting a client. It was imperative to my safety that I showed I was not to be easily taken advantage of. Being able to display that strong sense of self even though I didn’t feel it allowed me to eventually grow into becoming just that…..confident and strong. Again, them giving to me so much more than what I could possibly give to them.

It may be hard to believe for some of you that there are times I look so forward to meeting with someone.. Yes, this is a business but I am still as human as the rest of you. To know that I am about to meet with someone willing to give themselves to me in a most passionate way is an exhilarating feeling. These experiences are few and far between but allow me to be a part of something that I yearn for in my personal life yet I know I have no room for. That is the beauty of the balance I have created. To live the romance and passion, to feel the urgent need to be naked aside one another yet comforted in knowing that it is safe, for both of us. We know where our boundaries lie. While our thoughts may wander over, our understanding of what we share keeps it in perspective. For that time we are together we are one, sharing a time that some are not able to be a part of in a lifetime. It is intimacy in the greatest form and I have truly come to be ever so grateful to be a part of that.

So to all of the friends that I have met, to all of you that have been able to let yourself go and give to me as I try to give to you….thank you. It has been a wonderful year of great memories and I eagerly anticipate what still lies ahead.

Keeping humble

After my first review the phone started to ring. For the first several weeks it rang non stop. And then there were more great reviews. And more phone calls. It was so exciting and humbling. I was amazed that a woman of my nature could possibly compete with the other beautiful ladies that were offered to them. I have never been so complimented in my life. Nor have I experienced that kind of passion, even in my own personal relationships. It was flattering but I could never let it go to my head. I still blush when I am told how much someone enjoys my company.

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“I decided to see Belle. She’s new and I haven’t seen any reviews, but a friend recommended her, her pics were really hot and I’ve always had good luck with (Agency name edited).She arrived on time wearing tight black pants and looking like a million bucks. This lady is really attractive. Got introduced over a glass of wine, very confident and friendly, and was really enjoying a nice conversation when Belle gets up, walks over to my chair, and as she begins unbuttoning things, says, “We’re wearing way too many clothes.” It was very quickly solved and WOW! What a great body. I could have easily spent the rest of the session just oogling this eye candy but somehow we ended up in bed and here the real fun began. Belle is maybe the greatest kisser I’ve met. Her dfk for those who are into serious foreplay is out of this world. My tonsils are bruised! Well, after some detailed exploration of this new gorgeous female terrain I ended up at the diner for one of the tastiest servings of daty I’ve encountered. Judging from her vocal and physical response, it’s more than apparent that Belle is particularly appreciative of gourmet dining as well. Each course just seemed to get better. Next a delirious serving of bbbj with bls on the side. All I will say about this entrée is that just thinking about it is producing a cold sweat! On to even more energetic daty, followed by more mind blowing bbbj, and just when I didn’t think I could take any more, a cover was produced which Belle deftly applied with loving attention. She mounted up and rode this cowboy into delirium! Sadly at this point my time was up but I’m sure msog is standard menu. Anyway Belle had a quick shower, we dressed, and talked some more until we were politely reminded by her driver that our hour had ended ten minutes ago. I had a great time, with a classy lady who I will definitely see again. Get to the phone boys, I think Niagara has a new star! And thank you Belle, you are a treat!


Decided to see somone new and opted for Belle as she seemed really interested in providing great service from her posts on the board. All I can say is WOW. She is very genuine and fun to be with. I think she enjoyed our session as much as I did. The foreplay was incredible, very sensual and passionate lady.



I saw Belle yesterday and say "Ditto" to everything Floater said. Belle was a pleasure to be with and one of the best times I've ever had with a SP.


WOW. That one word summarizes the most amazing experience I have ever had in my hobbying career. And that experience was with the beautiful Belle from (Agency name edited). I am sitting here, the day after our first encounter, and I still can't wipe the grin off my face (or get the feeling back in certain areas of my body!) I am no novice to the hobby. But Belle, by far, is the most complete woman I have ever encountered in this business. She is the girlfriend or wife we would all love to have - beautiful, fantastic personality and an absolute dynamo in bed! There is NOTHING - I repeat - NOTHING I would change about Belle. (except maybe that she was with me 24 hours a day).I will not go into the play-by-play of our activities as that would ruin the special time that Belle and I had together. Suffice it to say she is the ultimate GFE and is one of the most talented and energetic woman that I have ever encountered. She will leave you breathless and begging for more.Guys, I think I may be ruined for any other woman in this business. I feel like a man who has been roaming the dessert in search of water and found an oasis, an oasis named Belle. And the more I drink to quench my thirst, the more I need. And I do need more Belle. I think anyone who spends time with her will definitely feel the same way! Thank You Belle for a Glorious Afternoon - the first of many!!!!!


It is funny reading these reviews one year later. But they are a reminder of why I do what I do and why I have the clients that I do. Those pictures were a reflection of who I am and the experience I want. Passion and class, truly a GFE experience.

I hear it all the time, guys posting about how we are all it for the money. It frustrates me that some feel that way and I can only hope that my clients don’t feel that way about our time spent together. Do I orgasm every time? No. Do I enjoy each and every experience I have? No. But I do my best to take something positive away from every visit. If it didn’t go so well then I question why and I try to learn from that. I think to walk away with only the money would be shortchanging myself an opportunity to learn more about myself and others around me.

Yes, the money has afforded me the opportunity to do so much more in my life but money can’t buy the chance to finally get to know me, to please me and do for me things I never dreamed possible.
Tomorrow will be all about my favorites. No, I will not discuss the people that are my favorites as I feel that would violate them in a way but I will describe my favorite experiences and why they are what they are.

My first photo shoot

Ok, my first week has come and gone and I have survived. Now it is time to put some pictures up because let’s face it…….not too many are willing to set up a sexual encounter with a woman sight unseen. The agency owner typically does the girls photo shoots but I had a real problem with that. I asked if it would be okay if I submitted my own and he was okay with that.

Once again I call my friend and ask his help. He is very computer savvy so I know that editing my pics will not be a problem. Not that I wanted them to look unlike me but just some touching up. So he booked a room for us to use for the shoot. We planned on making this an all day event as I knew it would take some time to loosen up to the camera.

Close to 7 hours we spent in that room and walked away with about 4 pictures out of the 400 that were taken that I would allow to be posted on the agency’s web site. Just how do you “look sexy” when asked to do so? What does sexy look like? I took some time to search many agency line-ups trying to see just how I should pose and what I should wear. This is when Belle’s persona was born.

I had to think about just why I was getting into this business. Then I had to ask myself how to go about getting out of this experience just what I am looking for. My life prior to escorting was safe. It was comfortable, predictable and safe. I lacked the passion that every woman desires. I yearned for a man to wrap me in his arms, kiss me ever so passionately and make me feel like he wants no other. It is funny because I have come to learn that that is exactly what most hobbying men out there do this for too. But how do I relate that through my pictures?

Lying naked with my legs spread is just not my thing. I did not want to exploit myself or appear to be desperate. I think that some things should be left to the imagination. I have never tried to hide that my body is not perfect but also show confidence that I love my body. For the first time in my life I accept me for who I am and would only want the gentlemen that would be seeing me to feel the same.

My first set of pictures were very conservative. It is difficult to show some of you but not all of you, appear sexy but not sleezy and all the while knowing that your smile does you no good as it will be plastered with pixels anyways!

My pictures done, I walk out of the room with a disc of 4 pictures. Not bad for 7 hours I thought! I downloaded them to my computer to post on the review boards and forwarded them to the agency. While waiting for them to finally get them up on the site I made my first post with my picture.

Not too much activity on the boards lately so I thought I'd create a little something to talk about. OK Boys and Girls, you asked for them so here they are! Little time to get some great shots done but hope these will do for now. (Have to leave some things to the imagination!) I'll be booked on for Tuesday and Wednesday from 2pm till 2am at (Agency and owner's names edited) so give them a call for bookings or feel free to PM me anytime. Here's to having a great time getting to know all of you... *** Hugs and Kisses, Belle ***

And then I sat and waited. I called my photographer and sat on the phone about 2 hours and I kept refreshing the page telling reciting to him just how many people had seen me naked. The thought of knowing that people are sizing me up, comparing me to other women was a very uneasy feeling at first. Of course I have gotten used to it now and it no longer bothers me but it did take some getting used to.

And that was my first week. One bad call and a 7 hour photo shoot. Now I just had to wait and see if the phone would ring. To my surprise it did, and quite often but I will save that for tomorrows post!

My first call

So you know about how Belle came to be. Now for Belle’s first call. All I can say is I am surprised I made it past this call. It almost ended right there. My first lesson to be learned in this business I learned that night.

The driver picks me up. I have the driver meet me at Tim Horton’s, keeping my personal from the professional yet again. It is now that I learn that the agencies…..they just want your money. No concern for the situations they put you in. Another girl is in the car. I recognize her right away from the agency website. She is hot and from what I gather is their top girl.

On the way to the hotel to drop me off, the driver (who is the agency owner) fills me in on the guy I am supposed to be seeing. “He can be quite aggressive so be sure to stand your ground with him. He likes to take control and can be demanding. Just don’t take it from him”, are his words of advice to me.

The girl travelling with us asks the driver who I will be seeing and he tells her. Now if I wasn’t apprehensive before I certainly am now. The girl freaks on him saying how dare he send me to him my very first call!

I program the driver’s “check-in” number on my cell phone and I knock on the hotel door. A man answers. He is quite shorter than I am and I would say in his early 50’s. I size up him and the room feeling a little more confident in my ability to overtake him if necessary.

We chit chat some small talk and I make my safety call. All seems well and he mentions this being my first call. The agency had warned him when he called that they had no feedback on me as I had just started that day.

He asks me to undress very slowly in front of him, only revealing one piece of clothing at a time. The key to this, he said, was that I have to ask permission to undress. I am now feeling quite uneasy wondering how the hell I managed to put myself in such a situation. Fully naked he sits on the edge of the bed and tells me it is time I go down on him. Many complaints here as I am going too fast, too slow, not enough tongue……he obviously wasn’t pleased. Laying out on the bed he asks me if he can call me his “submissive B****”. Of course I have a problem with that and he doesn’t understand why. I won that fight as I made it clear I would leave if any such behaviour was presented.

He then asks if he can use nipple clamps, of course leading to another “absolutely not” from me. It was only an hour appointment and thank God. I had to ask permission to touch him, kiss him and so forth. I left feeling used and it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. The driver dropped me off at my car and I just cried. I let him get to me and that was what bothered me the most, yet I think I needed that experience to make me aware of what I was getting myself into.

I am sure you are wondering just why I continued on after that appointment. I would like to say that I have an intelligent answer for that but I just don’t. I suppose it the beginning it really was all about the money. I knew I would have fun but to put up with that and accept payment afterward, yeah…it had to have been about the money.

Looking back on it now I am amazed that I overcame that. I think that was where I realized the extreme need to totally separate Belle from myself. I needed to protect my innerself from feeling that same humiliation. I had learned after that appointment that the girl in the car…..she had refused seeing this coward along with every other girl in the agency. If your most popular girls will not see this guy, just why would you send you newest and least experienced in to see him? Another lesson learned……agencies are all about the money.

Sitting in my van I called my dear friend that got me started in this. He met me right away and I just vented for what seemed like hours. He listened and that was what I needed. I know he felt personally responsible for what I went through so I assured him I would not allow that to happen to me again. I know I had 2 other appointments that night but unfortunately my first one had overshadowed the others and I am not sure how they went.

The positive at the end of the day? I was so worried that my first day I would not receive any calls and I did so in a way I exceeded my own expectations. As for the guy, he called for me again the week after. The agency didn’t tell me it was him I was seeing and this time it was a 2 hour appointment. I walked in the room and made it very clear what would and would not be taking place. He was much more gentle this time and even showed a little respect, although I am sure he was hoping for the meek Belle that showed up the week prior.

And there ya have it. Not the most pleasant experience but one that I think taught me a lot. I learned to stand up for myself and at 31 it was a needed lesson to be taught. My next entry you ask? Part of my transformation from being shy and conservative to finally feeling what it feels like to be wanted by a man. Overcoming my lack of self esteem to be able to accept that some might even find me a little attractive. Another great thing that all of you have done for me.

Belle is 1 this week!

Happy Birthday Belle! Yes, Belle is 1 this week. It has been a year since venturing into this wild and crazy but oh so fun adventure. In reading my blogs I have referred to escorting as many things but if anything, it has truly been a wonderful adventure.

This week my blogs will be all about my past year. I know I have written a lot about individual experiences but now I would like to share with you the things that I have learned, not only about the business but about myself.

I am sure some of you will be able to personally relate to things I have to say because it is you who have been a big part of getting me to where I am today. I will do my best to keep my references anonymous and I apologize if you take offence to me opening up about all of you. Again, not wanting to intrude on your privacy but to make you aware just how you have all affected me.

A year ago I sat on my front porch with a dear friend of mine discussing sexual experiences and my desire to be with a woman. It was that conversation that led me here. This wasn’t something that I jumped into feet first. I researched the prospect. I contemplated the ramifications and I questioned if this was something I could do. The question I asked myself most was “Is this business for me”?

I am not sure just where I found that answer but I know that for the first time in years I felt excited, even overwhelmed at the thought of awakening my sexual spirit. But these women, I thought, are so beautiful! They are young, their bodies firm, their breasts so supple. Just how could I compare? So this is how my first week prior to my first appointment went.

First it was reading the review boards. Being completely removed from the adult entertainment industry my entire life I have to say that the abbreviations took some getting used to. I would call my mentor many times asking to fill me in on this foreign language. Abreviations understood, it was now time to see if there was a place for me out there. And so went my first post.

“For some time I have been considering becoming an SP, more seriously in recent weeks. I am curious to know from a gentleman's perspective what he likes to see in an SP. I understand YMMV but just a general perspective as I have some concerns, primarily a small chest size (although good things come in small packages) and evidence of child bearing (which on the positive side denotes experience!). I have an adventurous personality and love to be in the company of gentlemen. Just not sure what to expect or where to go from here, any helpful feedback would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I remember thinking :What the hell are you doing”! It just seemed so crazy to me, I had never thought that this would be my desire in life. Then the replies start coming. Words of advice and encouragement from so many in the hobby. The just of it all? Basically, be yourself and have fun! That is what they all said. Just be myself and have fun. I can do that!

So then it was deciding what to do from there. I had decided that this was something I wanted to try out, now I had to decide which agency to work for. Again, it was the advice of the boards that led me to the agency I chose. So I made the call. It was awkward, I had no idea what to say so I wrote it out ahead of time.

“Hi, my name is……”. Wait, what is my name? Do I give my real name? No, I have to make one up. Because I had posted on the boards using the name “Sleighbelle” it was just suiting to shorten it to Belle. It was at that moment that Belle was born. The phone rings and a man answers. I give him my real name. So much for being in control. We agree to meet the next day at Tim Horton’s.

So there I sat in the front seat of his car. I have to say that this is the most awkward interview I have ever been to. It’s not the usual questions like : “Where do you see yourself in five years?”, but instead it was more like “Just what are you willing to do?” and “Are you a GFE?”. I showed him my identification to prove my legal age and he asked me for my stats. I had no idea so he sized me up and wrote some numbers down. I told him I could start in a couple of days and that was it. I was hired. No waiting for a phone call or more interviews. I was now officially an escort.

I went home and posted on the board:

First I'd like to say thanks again to all of the ladies and gents for your replies and pm's. I met with ********* today and am excited to say that as of next Tuesday I will start booking on with their agency. My schedule will be a little up in the air for the first couple of weeks but much more flexible after Labour Day weekend. Next week I will be booked on for Tuesday and Wednesday 2pm till 2 am........so who's gonna take one (or 2 or 3) for the team???? LOL.Looking forward to meeting everyone and having a great time!(Pics are soon to follow)

Looking back now, a full year later and it all just seems so funny to me. The shyness that had inhibited my life seems such a distant part of me now. The insecurity I harbored about my body has been replaced with contentment. For the first time in my life I feel comfortable just being me. I have learned through this business to accept the person that I am inside and out. A lesson that I could not have learned on my own. You have given to me much more than I could ever give to you.

Life is a journey and it we tend to take a few wrong turns along the way. But in each wrong turn I think we learn a little of ourselves. I have found the strength to stand up for myself. A new found confidence within that I am so grateful for. I can’t say what the next year will hold for me but something tells me that it will only get better from here.

Next entry: My first appointment. Ugh!

Name calling

Whore:

A prostitute.
A person considered sexually promiscuous.
A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
Prostitute:


One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose.
Slut:

A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
A woman prostitute
Courtesan:

A woman prostitute, especially one whose clients are members of a royal court or men of high social standing.


Escort:

One or more persons accompanying another to guide, protect, or show honor.
A man who is the companion of a woman, especially on a social occasion.
A person, often a prostitute, who is hired to spend time with another as a companion.


Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. It is the reality that when one thinks of a woman of my profession, the above comes to mind. We are demeaned, ridiculed and shrugged off by society. It is wrong, what we do. A true sin, living the most immoral life….or are we?

I would like to know who makes these definitions when writing the almighty book. No, not the Bible that some live faithfully through. I mean the dictionary. What gives one a right to put such a negative attachment to an honorable profession. Ok, maybe a little over the top calling it “honorable” but suffice to say that it is not dirty, degrading or immoral. Sex is natural and time spent together that is paid for seems only proper in my opinion.


“One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose”. This one bewilders me. An unworthy purpose? What is so unworthy? I think I am paid in fair exchange for my services and time. And those fees have given more worth to my life. I have been able to experience things in the past year of escorting that financially I would have never been able to do without this business. Is it so wrong that I ask to be paid for what I do? Is it more honorable to just hand it out to everyone that asks for it and request nothing in return?

“A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain”. Does it really seem so unrealistic to think that a woman may just enjoy being an escort? I mean, I really never did have to put much thought into doing what I do. My main concern was my safety. I am proud of what I do. I give to men and women what they yearn for in their lives. Adventure, companionship and passion. Don’t we all want that in our lives? I get out of this business what I put into it and that is why I do my best to put my all into it. And I do not compromise any principles to do it.

Escorting is an outlet to capture and release the essence of human sexuality. It is erotica and sensuality, a little on the risqué side perhaps but fun. It is safe in that there are no expectations but a wonderful time to be shared. Is that so wrong?

It is not to say that people don’t get hurt. Not all men and women participate in this business for the same reasons that I do. There is a line, a safety line that each party should clearly have and never cross. I never do, and I never get hurt, emotionally that is. Is there a physical danger to what I do? Absolutely. I cannot deny that and I have seen first hand just how scary it can be but I will save that for another entry. But that is a risk that I am willing to take. I do what I can to protect myself and because of that I have been able to enjoy most of my experiences in this business.

Before you condemn me, see my world through my eyes. Don’t feel pity for me for what I do but be happy that I experience all that I do. Do not pray for me to break free from this lifestyle but pray for yourself that you have a chance to set your sexuality free. And most importantly, don’t feel that because you are paying for my services that you have the right to treat me as you feel just. I respect myself and stand up for my chosen profession.

I kiss men in a way that some have never felt. They are my lover for the time that we are together. We experience together a most amazing connection. I give to them a renewed sense of themselves. They give to me the pleasure of having satisfied and at times satisfied myself. I leave smiling and so do they. I ask them about their day. Some have not been asked that by anyone that really cared in a long time. I offer them companionship and intimacy. Yes, it is paid for but that does not make it any less sincere.

Call me a whore, a prostitute or a slut and you condemn yourself as well. They are names, and while they are unpleasant they do not hurt me as their meanings are only attached to them by ignorance. I know I will never change how society views myself and others like me. But it will never make me any less proud of what I do or more importantly, who I am.

Cell phones

Cell phones, great technological advancement right? Yeah, they make life more simple now. A great convenience when you’re out and about. Men no longer need feel pressured to stop and ask for directions, they have their wives call someone. If you are running late or stuck in traffic, the phone is handily placed just above your visor. We all know of times that the cell phone has been a life saver and for some, a way of life. But I think we have to draw the line at expecting someone to be at your every whim simply because they have a cell phone.

I use my cell phone strictly for this business. My family and friends do not even know I own a cell phone. If they knew I owned one they would ask for the number. Somehow, my father listening to my voice message saying that I am unavailable for the evening does not seem to be appropriate. Just another way to keep my two lives very separate.

My cell phone is a key part to my business. I can leave detailed messages, informing all incoming calls of my availability for the coming days. It is a private number for me to use to return business calls outside of my home, protecting my personal life yet again. It is a great asset indeed and I rely on it heavily. But it is not attached to me 24/7. I do my best to maintain a proper balance between my personal life and this business. Allowing myself to be accessible to this business at all times is to me an intrusion on my life.

I respect that the gentlemen I see have tight schedules. I respect that when they have some unexpected free time they would like to call me. And I also respect that as a business owner I owe them a prompt reply as to booking an appointment. Unfortunately for some, the way I run my business does not make me as accessible as they would like me to be. My hours can be limited at the best of times and seldom free up at the last minute unless an appointment falls through. But I do have a life outside of this business and that life is my priority.

In saying that, I do not want it to seem as though I do take pride and responsibility for my escorting life because I truly do my best. But just as I would not wish to intrude on your personal time, please do not feel offended when I do not allow you to intrude on mine. I answer all messages as prompt as I can. When no details are given, just a name and a number I do not reply. If the message is derogatory or crude, again I will not reply. And if a gent is asking for a specific time and I do not get that message until the requested time has passed, I will not reply again. Aside from that, all calls are returned the day they are retrieved. I answer my phone when I am expecting a phone confirmation, aside from that I rely on emails and pm’s as my primary form of communication.

Yes, cell phones simplify life but believe it or not, way back 10 years ago…even escorts survived without them. They are a novelty, not a necessity. Whole some business owners may choose to use a cell phone to access their business while on personal time. I on the other hand use it to separate my business from my personal time. Again, it’s all about balance.