One of my favorite movies is City of Angels. Yes, I can cry just like the rest of ‘em when watching a sappy chic flick. This is a love story and any love story with Nicholas cage immediately becomes one of my favorites. He plays and angel of sorts who walks the earth, unable to be seen and brings those dying to the world beyond.
Long story short, he falls in love with an ER doctor, Meg Ryan. She is able to feel his presence, and she too falls in love with him. There is a scene in that movie that is in a bedroom. It is dark, the only light entering the room is the moon shining through the window. Meg feels him in the room with her as she lays herself on the bed. She is wanting him to touch her, to make wild passionate love to her.
Ever since watching this movie I have wondered, is it possible to bring yourself to that ultimate climax without ever being touched? Last night I had to put it to the test. Now perhaps only women will be able to relate to this experience as we are much more visual than men as a rule. It is not so much the actual touch of a man that arouses me as it is the look in his eyes while he is touching me.
I lay myself in my bed, completely naked with only a white sheet across my body and I let my mind wander. Trying to find a moment that I can place myself in. A time of passion that I can recall every breath of his on my cheek. A time when I am aware of how he smells, how his skin feels against mine and I can see the need for me in his eyes. And I find it, place myself in it and my journey has begun.
I will not allow myself to move my hands from beside me. There is no outer stimulation other than the sheet rested over me. I think of looking at him, his body hovering mine and I am gazing in his eyes. He has not entered me, we are just laying there feeling our bodies pressed together. I taste his lips, his tongue meets mine and we softly exchange kisses. So gentle, small moments of our lips just holding together and then passionate and hard anticipating what is about to happen. Then back to soft and gentle, not wanting to rush into the act but to savor what is happening between us right then.
My body begins to sway, left to right and slowly up and down my hips wanting to feel what I am envisioning. I know I have to focus so deeply on being there, not trying to be there or imagining what is was like. I have to be there, in that very moment.
I can feel how wet he has made me. As he moves his lower body over mine I feel that wetness. It is smooth, almost a silky feel and he is spreading it over my thighs. I press my hips into him and he slides his lower body up to meet mine. Again and again I feel him gently gliding his body across mine, each time feeling a more intense need for him to enter me.
I know I am wet, I can feel it oozing from my lower lips yet I cannot allow myself to feel nor taste. As I move my body, withering under the sheet I notice how lightly the sheet wisps over my clit. A wrinkle in the sheet, a crevice that I have found and I work my clit over it, the only physical stimulation I can feel outside of my vision.
I take myself back, not wanting to let myself lose the moment. I don’t want to think about laying in bed alone trying to recreate something that has happened. I have to make myself believe that it is all happening right now. My eyes are closed, I do not want to bring the outside world in. I am ready for him to enter me as his eyes tell me he can no longer wait for me.
The final time his lower body slides up mine he finds his way into me. No guiding him, his body knows its’s way. He has been here many times before. My legs spread just a little, enough to let him in but not completely. I love to feel myself open up to him. I look into his eyes and he returns my gaze. There is no need to say anything, it’s all said in our eyes. I smile to him, wanting him to know how wonderful he makes me feel. With each thrust he enters a little deeper but we keep it slow. I know that soon it will come to be that we can’t make it happen fast enough so I just allow myself to feel the anticipation of that moment.
My hands are now fists that have the sheet beneath me clenched tightly. How I ache to rub my hands through my thighs, make them wet and feel my swollen lips. This is an amazing feeling, to be so aroused, so close to climax and not have any outside stimulation to bring that on.
I am back with him, looking into his eyes. I tell him that I want to cum, but I don’t. I want so bad to feel that release but I don’t want to lose where we are right then. When I cum it is over, and I want this to last all night. He tells me he wants me to cum. I know he can feel when I do and that is an arousing feeling for him. He can feel me tighten inside as the muscles begin to contract, releasing all of that passion unto him. I am ready to let go.
I begin to wonder now if this will really happen. I am so ready to feel it, to let go but this aching need to touch myself has become overwhelming. Holding the sheet underneath me I rock my body up and down. I am thrusting my hips to the sheet over me, only barely feeling the light sensation it gives to my clit. A sweat has broken out and I can feel the sheet stick a little when I move. It is hot underneath and I am amazed the physical response to what I am experiencing in my mind.
We are no longer taking our time but in a need to reach our destination. He is holding out for me. He wants to feel me cum, that will bring him to his climax so I give myself to him. My arms wrapped under his and around his back I hold him tightly, using his back as leverage as I thrust my hips into him. Harder each time and I tell him I am there and as I close my eyes I know he is watching me as I orgasm. This excites him and as my body tightens, my inside walls pulsating all around him, I tell him to cum for me. His arms shaking, trying to hold himself above me, he thrusts deeper and deeper until he finally lets go too.
I can see his face. I watch him as he releases. Now I am there, I can feel it. It’s right there and I have to reach out to it. Harder and faster I rock myself up and down. The sheet below tight in my fists, my head raised slightly in the air and held back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. The heat, the sweat, the moaning and the panting. I am there, it’s all a part of me…..and somehow, without touching myself from the time I lay myself onto the bed I let go.
I have never experienced and orgasm like that. It is not that it was any better than the best, just that it was different. Something I never thought possible, especially for me. I always have needed a lot of clitoral stimulation, usually light and gentle just to get aroused. To visualize a passion like that, so intense and erotic and to actually feel everything as though it were happening as I see it was an amazing experience for me.
Yes, an intense orgasm can be reached without any outer stimulation. It took much longer for me to reach that climax than if I had manually created that moment but the trying to get there was the best part of it all for me. The only down side to this experience? There was no feeling of him collapsing unto me. I missed having him roll onto his back, my head on his chest and his arms around me. This experience could never replace the real thing but at a time when the need is there but he is not, it’s a great alternative!
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