Down Days

I have talked a lot about the greatness of being Belle. The wonderful opportunities this business has afforded me. The person I have been allowed to become in an environment that is safe to do so. In many ways Belle has now become a part of me. It does not feel odd to be referred to as Belle anymore. It seems quite natural actually. So natural in fact that I have referred to myself as Belle to people that have no idea who the hell I am talking about! You know those conversations where you refer to yourself as a third party? Yes, I have even referred to myself as Belle in those conversations. I love her spirit and her ability to let go of her inhibitions. But there are days when I wonder just who I am and who I am expected to be.

This goes back to one of my first blog entries when I break the news to all of you that I am just a simple small town girl who wakes up with bed head like any other woman. I feel there are days, and I suppose today is one of them for me to feel inspired to write about it, that I just wonder who I really am. On the one side I just love sitting in my pj’s next to the fire, enjoying the quiet simple life of camping, jogging pants and a good book. Leading a life of many great acquaintances but preferring to keep my life private. Keeping my time alone as just that, alone. I am content to be alone, watching movies or playing poker on the computer.

On the other hand I love being playful, adventurous and sexual. I crave a man’s desire and hunger for his passion. I have spent most of my adult years wanting to find a way to incorporate all of that into my life and now I have found it. It is awakening both spiritually and physically. I have overcome so much this past year that in the past has held me back from living life. I love this new found part of me.

So how do I handle the days when I feel like being the “book reading Belle” when I have appointments scheduled and I am expected to be the “hungry for passion” Belle? We all have those days, days when you’re expected to be someone that you’re just feeling up to being. You know, those days when your engine quits and you walked 5 blocks in the rain to get to work and you are expected to greet everyone with a cheerful “Good Morning, how may I help you?” To say that we as escorts have bad days is true but it is no different than any of you. There are just days you don’t want to be you. As there are days I just don’t want to be me.

Luckily for me my situation is much more positive than most as my job revolves around pleasure. It is seldom that I ever leave an appointment not feeling better than when I arrived. I find myself being complimented, wined and dined, and treated so wonderfully that it would be hard not to put a smile on my face. If it has ever been noticed by a gent that I appear not to be the same Belle he may be used to, it has never been brought up to me. But that is not to say that it doesn’t show. Just that the men I see are too respectful to say anything.

Constructive criticism is part of the job. I think if you have the class to be successful in this business then you need to take that criticism with a smile and a mission to apply it effectively. So, while I love the compliments and the great reviews please don’t hesitate to say when you are disappointed or feel let down. I can only better who I am and make your experience more enjoyable when I know my faults. We all like to think we don’t have any but I know I have mine. I just choose to pretend I don’t at times!