Sunday, August 13, 2006

The men that make me

A few weeks into the business and everything was great. Many calls, compliments and stellar reviews. Each visit is different from the last. Different personalities, different likes and dislikes but all in all a great time. Now, one year later and I have had an amazing opportunity to explore sex from many different angles…..literally. I hate using the term “Client” or “Customer” especially when I am referring to gents that I see on a regular basis. I know it sounds a little over the line but I do prefer to call them friends so that is what I shall do.

My first regular gent was one of the first to respond to me when I started posting on the boards. He was very supportive, encouraging and always willing to answer any questions I may have had. We first met just a week or so into my venture and we continue to meet a year later.

He is very soft spoken, and surprisingly single. Always respectful, we are able to engage in wonderful conversation…..about life in general and the goings on in the business. He has befriended many of the ladies and the guys on the boards and has become our “knight in shining armor” of sorts. I think he has a great sense of what us women endure in the course of a day and a respect for the business. We spend a lot of time emailing one another, chatting in the chat rooms and of course some one on one play time when our schedules allow it. A very good friend who truly respects me and what I chose to do with my life.

Then there is another friend who has never failed to lift me when things have me down. He never misses an opportunity to compliment me, encourage me and thank me for what I have brought to his life. It is uplifting to know that I somehow play a positive role in someone’s life after our time together has ended. That is what this is all about for me. Yes, it can be a sleezy business if that is how you choose to conduct yourself. But when you take the time to take something spiritually from the experience it makes it that much more rewarding. I need to know that what I provide for them makes them feel good and changes their life even if in some small way. This man never hesitates to share those changes with me, to let me know that our time together means something more to his life than just simply a sexual experience.

It is friends in the business that have helped me to see the changes in myself before I have noticed them myself. They see a sense of confidence in me that I have never had in my life. One gentleman said that he could not believe my confidence walking into the room knowing that I was fairly new to the business. I knew starting out that I had to appear that way when first meeting a client. It was imperative to my safety that I showed I was not to be easily taken advantage of. Being able to display that strong sense of self even though I didn’t feel it allowed me to eventually grow into becoming just that…..confident and strong. Again, them giving to me so much more than what I could possibly give to them.

It may be hard to believe for some of you that there are times I look so forward to meeting with someone.. Yes, this is a business but I am still as human as the rest of you. To know that I am about to meet with someone willing to give themselves to me in a most passionate way is an exhilarating feeling. These experiences are few and far between but allow me to be a part of something that I yearn for in my personal life yet I know I have no room for. That is the beauty of the balance I have created. To live the romance and passion, to feel the urgent need to be naked aside one another yet comforted in knowing that it is safe, for both of us. We know where our boundaries lie. While our thoughts may wander over, our understanding of what we share keeps it in perspective. For that time we are together we are one, sharing a time that some are not able to be a part of in a lifetime. It is intimacy in the greatest form and I have truly come to be ever so grateful to be a part of that.

So to all of the friends that I have met, to all of you that have been able to let yourself go and give to me as I try to give to you….thank you. It has been a wonderful year of great memories and I eagerly anticipate what still lies ahead.

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