Strip clubs. I had never been to a strip club prior to escorting. Since then I cannot count the number of visits. Sometimes it has been a meet and greet that has brought me there, other times I have visited while on business. Belle has made herself quite familiar at the Penthouse, almost like a second home. She knows many of the girls by name and even has her select favorites. She has been on stage with bills in her mouth, she has been in the back room to share a dance or two. Yes, Belle has the strip club lingo down pretty good.
Belle’s first night at a strip club was nothing short of sexual torture. Much worse than being bound and teased. Ropes define what can and cannot be done. But a beautiful woman tantalizing you with her long legs, supple breasts and hair flowing across your chest all the while knowing you must have restraint is the real torture. You have to rely on self discipline, it’s a rule and Belle thinks rules are made to be broken
I thought before going into my latest experience, I’d post an entry I made on a review board. I took some time to search NERBS to find this post, I wrote it just after Belle’s first experience in a strip club, at a Nerbs Meet and Greet Event.
Belle wrote on March 24, 2006: (omitting names originally used)
Ok, so I know I'm not a pro at this sort of thing so guys, help me out on this one.I walk into the club with a true gentleman and good friend and there before me are these beautiful women scantily clad. Handsome men all around, some familiar while there are others there that i'd like to get to know better. I give my round of hellos and hugs. Nervous as hell I see my sweetheart with the most amazing hands that make me melt so I pull up a seat. With my drink ordered I see this most sexy woman who makes me wet just by her sweet smile. And now the heat turns up. My palms get sweaty. The lights are flashing, erotic ladies working the stage, clothes flying....it's all a blur.
Before I know it I'm laying on the stage with a bill between my pursed lips, another down my shirt, another just slightly peeping out of my pants. I am soooo nervous but no fear as Kaylee is laying next to me with this beautiful naked woman caressing her inch by inch with her tongue.My turn, as Kaylee leaves me alone on stage!!!!! My heart races as my shirt makes it's way to my neck. The wetness of her tongue I can feel against my waist, Ohhh how I wanted to touch her soft sweet smelling body!!! She makes her way to my breasts, gently plays with them, her tongue so soft just the way I like to be caressed. Her breasts sway over my lips and I fight so hard to be still and not return her sweet kisses. Her lips on mine and I have totally forgotten I am on stage. The music stops, she whispers a soft "Thank you" and there I am left half nude on stage and embarrassment sets in!
I quickly make my way back to my seat, never so eager to light up that cigarette nor down a drink the way I did! I did it! My first time ever being on stage! I enjoyed it so much that when offered a second round on stage I jumped at the chance! I am no longer a strip club virgin now that I have experienced both the back room lap dance and the stage...or so I thought! Next thing I remember it's dark. I'm on a couch/seat in a dimly lit room sitting next to a very handsome gent. This same beautiful woman is dancing. Her hips swaying to the music. She is so sensual and I am in awe. After my begging eyes give away my extreme desire to caress her soft skin she tells me to please go ahead.
Her curves just so, the way her bum so nicely meets her legs. It's really hot in those rooms!!!! My shirt is off, then my bra and somehow my pants are just below my hips. No need to tell you just how wet I am at this point but to say I am very aroused by this experience. I am given the opportunity to taste her sweet body with my tongue, her arms, her legs, her supple breasts. I do believe my hands were everywhere, not too sure just where I wanted to rest them. Her legs, then between mine then to the nicely erect appendage I found beside me! So sensual, so erotic and so very, very hot!!!
The music stops and we kiss a sweet thank you kiss. I am dressed, sitting back in my seat, smoking that cigarette I so rightly deserve after being treated to nicely and I think to myself.......wow!!!!So here I sit at home in front of my computer, alone in this unstable state of mind very, VERY sexually frustrated wondering WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME?????? I feel soooo sorry for the gentleman I am seeing tomorrow afternoon and if he is reading this.....I can guarantee there will be no relaxing massages this time!!!!!! So my question is........you guys LIKE doing this to yourselves???? I am going CRAZY!!!! Good thing is I have a new toy that needs breaking in. No wonder they call them strip teases! These places should not be legal! Just driving home in such a mental state is worse than being intoxicated.
So, here is my plea that I will be taking to our government.......For the sanity and sexual gratification of all "Private Club" members I feel it should be mandatory that all entertainers must finish what they started!!!!!!! Off to bed I go................and not alone (unless inanimate rubber objects don't count as companions).
As I read that I go back to that time when Belle was still a separate identity. She was a name, a part of me but a part that I didn’t connect with. I kept her at a distance….quite frankly because she scared the hell out of me!
It’s now a year later. It’s a short time really, one year. But I have come a long way in that one year. And maybe comparing strip club experiences is an odd way to determine how much one has grown interpersonally but here is what I write on my most recent visit to a strip club:
Writing of March 24, 2007:
It’s another Meet and Greet event. I could meet up with everyone at PE 55 where the event is to start out but the problem is that it would require me driving out of Niagara Falls. So I decided to hit the Penthouse in hopes that the party would carry on there. I sit in my van and prepare myself for entering the strip club alone. What if no one is there? I know the clubs do not like women entering alone so I join a group of couples walking through the door. I get in and the place is packed.
I head to the bar to grab a beer as I scan the crowd for a familiar face…that was not one of a dancer. No one. Not one person could I recognize. I had just paid $5.00 to get in and another $5.75 for my beer, I might as well hang out for a bit. I headed to the other side of the club in a last ditch effort to find a friend, an acquaintance, hell…a co worker…just someone to sit with so I didn’t stand out. So there I sat, a lone stool pushed up against a wall, just me and my beer. I was nervous at first, not wanting the club to be upset that I was a lone woman there. They look at me as a threat. Not that I look like a dancer by any means but a single woman is likely to scan the club for men and take business away from the ladies.
I finished my beer and ordered another from the waitress. I was becoming frustrated with the young ones in perv row. Getting all excited, their little willies forcing them to jump up and down, they are now blocking my view and pissing me off. I see a table in front of the stage clear out so I make my move. A beer and a half, a perfect seat for viewing and I’m now feeling much more comfortable. I think it was at this moment that Belle left the building.
The next 3 hours were spent either up on stage or in the back room. While my favorite dancer Portia was not there, I made a few new friends. Caitlyn and Jordyn took very good care of me while on stage. Their routine together was oh so sweet but so much better when they performed for me. Soft lips and perfect bodies, what more could I have asked for.
I never met anyone there, I spent the night alone but it was an amazing moment for me. It was me, not Belle. I had nobody to impress. No need to put on a show or be something I am not as no one knew me there. So while I’d like to say it was Belle as this is usually her thing….the truth is Belle was no where in sight that night. It was me and I had a most amazing, hot, erotic time.
Yes, I still left the club at closing time sexually frustrated but I also took with me a confidence that without Belle I would not have known I had. I have accepted myself as I am. I have become comfortable just being me and not having to use Belle as an excuse to be sexually aggressive or adventurous. When I got home I wanted to research my post about my first strip club experience and the irony is that my first visit to a strip club was one year to the very day that I went to the same strip club alone.
Just one year I went from the shy girl who would not go on stage alone, who was so embarrassed to be in such a place in fear that someone would recognize me to being a woman on stage, alone and hoping I would run in to someone I knew to share the experience with. It was different being there alone. I had to find a woman that would watch my purse each time I went on stage, I had to specify to the waitress that I would be right back, not to take my beer (I learned this after the first 2 she took from me). I had to explain to the doormen that approached me 2 ½ hours after I sat down why I was there alone and give them my ID.
A different experience than any other but one that has ended an inner conflict I’ve had for some time. This life I am living, Belle and her adventures…they are all a part of me. My wants in life, my needs in life. We don’t have to be so separate. What I have done as Belle I have wanted to do as me but never had the environment where I felt safe to do it. I can only hope that when Belle has finished with this business I have learned how to step out of my safe zone without the need to hide behind another identity, another persona, another life. I can only hope. But one thing is for sure….I’ll never give up strip clubs, alone or with friends!
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