I have become one of them. You know, those people that really piss you off when you are shopping. I hate to say it but those old ladies finally got to me! This is totally out of context for my blog but I have to vent. I’m in Value Village. Yes, my favorite shopping place…. until today when I realized that at 10 am the place is full of white hair, glasses wearing old bitties pushing 4 wheeled go carts. These ladies are nuts.
I’m coming down the aisle, the very narrow isle and assuming that sweet ole’ grandma is going to move her buggy for me. I politely sit there a minute and see she has no intention of doing so. I politely say “excuse me”, she pretends not to hear me. I know when someone is pretending not to hear me, my kids do it to me all of the time!So I wiggle my buggy into the clothing racks on my side of the aisle and fight the old lady blouses that keep getting caught on my buggy. I give her a dirty look, give her buggy a deliberate push and carry on. I could not believe how pissed off this made me. I have a grandmother, and my 94 yr old great-grandmother (God bless her) is still with us. They would never think of being so rude to someone!
So, I find some clothes for my kids and a pair of boy’s gloves for my son. Walmart seems to think it’s 80 degrees out now and have put away all of their winter clothing so as Murphy’s Law would have it, my son lost a glove. It was a great find, damn I love Value Village.So, I find a few pairs of jeans I would like to try on. I park my buggy outside my change room door and head in with my jeans. I don’t like any of them but it’s no surprise there as I never do. I walk out….and my buggy is gone! No big deal under normal circumstances but I want those gloves! I am pissed and I’m on a mission. I start storming through the aisles checking out every white haired, glasses wearing buggy pushing 70 year old I can find. Up one aisle, down the next and up the next. Sure enough, by the old bitty shoe section I see it. The blue finger of a glove sticking through the bars on the bottom of the buggy. Yes, an old lady was too damn lazy to walk 20 feet to get her own friggin buggy so she took mine.
I shopped for 45 minutes to find those damn gloves and I want them! I think old people are getting away with too much these days. Someone cuts us off and we’re pissed…till we see the white hair and glasses barely peering over the dash. Why don’t we ever pull up beside them, stop our cars and confront these reckless people. “Excuse me old man, but you just friggin cut me off, anything you’d like to say to me? And don’t pretend you can’t fucking hear me damnit!”
Ok, a little extreme maybe but hey….it’s my post and I can vent if I want to! So, back to the glove. I walk up to her and I politely (yes, I am keeping my cool here) explain that I think she may have accidentally taken my buggy while I was changing. Yes, you got it. The bitch ignored me! So, while she was trying on an old bitty pair of shoes I started digging through her cart and grabbed the gloves as well as the 3 other pieces of clothing I placed in there. Well….you’d think I just robbed the woman! She starts yelling at me to get out of her buggy. I try to explain at first but then I say to hell with it. Not only did I grab the clothes I had put in there but I grabbed a sweater that she put in there too! I walked away snickering to myself at the thought of her checking out at the register and wondering what happened to her multicolored striped sweater. I hid the sweater in the kids section then checked out.
I sat in my van, lit a smoke and laughed hysterically. At what I am not so sure. Because I took her sweater? Because I hid her sweater? Because I am such a freaking idiot? Either way it gave me a good laugh. Some days I just don’t feel like being nice.
Belle
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