Phone sex boy

Ok, if you do not remember the Phone Sex Guy, then you have to go back to that blog entry in November and read it before you read this one. Mr. Morals, Mr. Old Fashioned, Mr. So Damn Hot He Drives Me F**** Crazy! He is also Mr. Untouchable. A friend from a different world than this, a friend from my world. You know, my world of laundry and occupation, PTA meetings and coupon cutting. That world where having sex any where but a bed is to be considered dirty, something bad girls do. I think I have established that I am not a bad girl…….haven’t I? Hmmmm. Anyways…..

He called me up out of the blue the other day. It just so happens we are both off work right now and he was wondering if we may grab a movie one night this week. We set it up for last night. He sends me an email in the afternoon asking if he would be safe with me. Poor 'noble' man seems to think I am some savage beast. I assure him I can be a lady when I need to be. I send the reply then chuckle to myself. “Can I?”

So, this is what us women go through when we get ready to meet you men. Each scenario comes with its own set of rules. This night calls for dress down, but not too down. Enough makeup to hide the slight, or not so slight imperfections but not too much where it says “come get me”. No perfume as we all know it is a lure to get you to come closer. Hair must look natural. I can’t appear to have spent any time on it. Showered and shaved. Ok, one can dream…I know it’s a waste of my time thinking he may get that close but hey…..

Nails are done. I’m dressed in a casual but attractive knit sweater and long flared jeans. Winter boots/slight heel. Hair is semi-pulled back, a light coloring on my face. Matching under garments (ok, I can fantasize too!). Condoms, check. Wait a minute. Wrong world. Take them out of purse. Dream some more and put them back in. Grab my smokes and I am off. Damn, I feel giddy like a school girl. Only difference is a school girl has a chance at getting some. I’m giddy over knowing I’m not! Why can’t I be like most normal women?

I get to the theatre and park my car. Light up a smoke and walk to the doors. He’s nowhere to been seen and I stand there like I probably did a dozen times or more some 17 years ago waiting for a tall slender boy with blonde hair who had me thinking I knew what love was all about. Now, 17 years later as I ponder that thought I wished I was still so naïve. He comes walking out to me, we say our hellos and in we go. The movie was great. A Nicholas Cage flick, I am so in love with him! Cage, not the Phone Sex Boy that is.

I hadn’t realized it, but Phone Sex Boy (see, I can write like Belle De Jour) points out that I have a death grip on the popcorn. I promised to be a lady, to behave myself and control my sexual aggressiveness….the popcorn suffered. But my hands were still, something very difficult with Mr. Cage on the screen and Mr. Untouchable beside me. Thankfully the movie was great and it kept me mentally stimulated for the time I sat there.

Movie over, we head to the parking lot which we are parked at opposite ends of. He walks me to my car and I drive him to his. We sit there chatting about life, as we always do. The conversation turns to sex, as it always does. Sound familiar? If not, then you didn’t read my Phone Sex blog like I told you to! He knows just how I ache to be with him. This has been going on between him and me for almost two years now. He finds it funny; I just don’t see the humor. He asks why I have this thing for him, what’s the fascination? I still can’t answer that really, but maybe it is because I know I am protected with him. I want something only because I know I cannot have it. Maybe it’s because he plays hard to get, or in his case impossible to get. I know we will never have sex, it’s not about that at all for me. I just want to feel him touch me. And even more so, to kiss me. Not that hard, crazy ‘we have to have sex now’ kind of kiss, but that soft slow passionate ‘I just need to feel your lips on mine’ kind of kiss.

Somehow the conversation turns to masturbation. I may have been the one to bring that up. Yes, I do believe it was me. Hey, I was in agony there, truly regretting my choice to wear the knit sweater! He tells me he has never watched a woman masturbate. Bingo! I have now found a way in. Masturbation, just like phone sex, is safe. It’s still within the boundaries and does not pose the risk of either of us getting into something we are not ready for. My hand wanders down my thighs as I hum along to the country tune on the radio. I turn my head and ask him if he is okay with where this is going. He smiles and nods his head. “I AM still a man you know!” Whew. I was thinking he might be gay. (Not that there is anything wrong with that!)

I soon learn to regret wearing my slightly tight jeans as well. While I enjoyed writhing my clit against the crotch seam, it made for awkward positioning when trying to masturbate in tight quarters. It’s funny, I haven’t done this sort of thing in many, many years. You know, the school girl movies/sex in the car thing. It was kind of exciting to do what teenagers do. Worrying about that car driving by, employees peering in the windows. Not that the latter would have been a problem as the windows were steamed over before long. He laid my seat back for me and asked if I minded that he watch. Little did he know I was doing this for him, not me. Yes, it felt good but it wouldn’t have felt as good if I didn’t know that he was watching something, being a part of something sexually that he had never been a part of before. Another cherry of his I took.

He raised my sweater and rested it higher on my chest to get a better view. I closed my eyes and let my mind imagine what he was thinking. Any red blooded male would be somewhat turned on by watching a woman masturbate. He was definitely a red blooded male. I’d look at him every once in awhile and just smile. He commented several times about how difficult it was for him to watch, to hold back and not participate. I told him it wouldn’t be so exciting if it was easy. He did offer his hand. He placed it on my knee and began lightly running it up and down my thigh. I finally felt his touch. I didn’t realize how much I needed to feel that, just to know that he did want me even though he could never have me.

His hand worked its way to the opening of my jeans. He held it open for me for a while as I took my time working myself up. Against his better judgment I’m sure, his fingers caressed my skin. I could have cum right then. The nights I have been in bed imagining his fingers taking the place of mine. I removed my hand as his took over. I turned to him again to be sure he wanted this to happen. He smiled so I took it as a yes. I spread my legs for him to work his fingers into me, to feel how wet he makes me. My eyes closed, I let him take me to that place he has unknowingly taken me many times before.

I imagined how I would feel to him. I imagined the battle he was going through. His body telling him he wanted me like I wanted him. His mind telling him to hold back, to stick to what he believes in. And in all of that he is trying to rationalize his boundaries. Just how far can they be pushed? Where does he draw the line and this game of ours is no longer in his comfort zone? I let him take the lead, this is all about him and where he wants it to go.He goes from being soft and cautious to deliberate. He wants me to cum for him and I am ready to give him that. Faster, his hand rubs my clit. He has found the spot, the way I like to be rubbed just so. My hips thrust into his hand over and over. He slides his fingers down and into my wetness. I can’t hold back any longer as I finally release, feeling my muscles tighten around his fingers. He enjoys feeling how wet I am for a few minutes before he removes his hand. I light a smoke and thank him. He leans back on his seat with a bewildered look on his face. I think he’s not too sure how to take me. He's seen Belle’s world. Something far from what is normal for him. He believes sex should always take place in a bed. The things I could teach him! But then, he knows me as most of you do not. Quiet, reserved and shy. He seems confused yet curious about the two. As I am smoking my cigarette I notice just how hard that made him. I reach over to feel him as I look at him to be sure he’s okay with it. He doesn’t resist so I don’t stop.I spent an hour just rubbing him. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t say much either. Every few minutes he’d tell me how hard this was for him and then apologize for not being able to let it go any further. I tell him not to. I find it even more alluring that he does not cave in, not that I would allow it to happen anyways. I respect him too much to cross that line and take advantage of his weakness. He does unbutton his jeans for me. I leaned his seat back for him. I see it in his face, him fighting to not bend the boundaries. I ask him if he is okay to just lay back and relax, to trust that I won’t do anything but what I am doing right then. He lets me take over, closes his eyes and visits that place I was just an hour ago.Again, like the phone sex it sounds so mechanical. There was no kissing, and while I wanted him to kiss me so badly I knew that wouldn’t have been safe for me. There was no sex as he knew that wouldn’t have been safe for him. But again we connected in a way that we got what we needed from each other without going outside of those boundaries. I don’t think anything else beyond what we have experienced together would be as satisfying, physically or emotionally. I never got that kiss but maybe that’s the best part, the fantasizing about what that kiss would be like without ever going there with him.

To share a relationship like this with a friend is something on a whole different realm that what I have ever had before. Don’t we all want that in some way? To be able to explore our passions, yet keep our limits? To see just how far we can push them yet trust each other enough to stop before things have gone too far. Some friends are great coffee partners. Some friends are great f*** buddies and some friends are great to talk to. Then you have friends like Phone Sex Boy who are just great. Great to hang out with, great to sit in the theatre with and great to push your limits with. We spent four hours in that parking lot.

Again, we spent a lot of that time in silence but that silence said everything. It’s not always about what is said but what goes unsaid. It’s those times in silence with him that I learn more about me. I like to give to him these experiences for his personal satisfaction but I know I am the one who walks away more satisfied.

Belle