People watching

Observing people. This is something I love to do when I am out. It doesn’t matter where I am be it work, vacation or just wandering the streets window shopping. I always wonder where their minds are. Where are they headed, where have they just come from? Are they like me and just out for some fresh air or are they frantically searching for that one thing that every store seems to be out of? What is their story? Children? School? Spouse? Kids? None of these things really matter to me, just a part of people watching.

I went for a walk today, finding myself in need of clearing my mind. I went along the parkway for some alone time then found myself peering through store windows and wondering something I had never thought of before. What do these people think of me as they pass by? I have always wondered about others but never gave thought to what they think when they see me. Do they size me up in a similar way? Do I look like I am single or married? Do I look like I am shopping for a birthday gift for my best friend or am I more the tourist type looking for that brand name pair of jeans that fits just right? Judging by my jeans and sweater I’d say the latter is unlikely.

Do they see that I am a mother or do I look like I have yet to find my niche in life? Do they see me as wandering aimlessly or do I appear to have a purpose? Is it obvious that I just needed to get out of the house? I am beyond the years of feeling a need to dress to impress others. Does that mean I have become one of those women who has “let herself go”? My hair is in a pony, yes it’s brushed but I didn’t really fuss before leaving the house. Do they see me as unkempt? Do they see me as holding a well paid professional job or a woman who would accept money for sex? Think they’d ever guess that I do both? I laugh at the thought.

I wonder what it would be like to set up a booth on the corner and ask these people to fill out a quick questionnaire about what they think my story is. Of course I’d hang a sign just above advertising kisses for 25 cents. There are some really cute ones (yes, male and female) out and about this afternoon. I am curious how others on the street perceive me. Would they guess that I went to University? Would they expect that I had dropped out to be a mom? Would they see my struggles? Would they see my triumphs? I do see that in people, or should I say that some people give off such indications. It’s their eyes. Are they bright and open or worn and heavy? I do my best to smile at others as I pass them, whether they return that smile or not says a lot. I do it because you never know just how much someone might need that smile in their life. I may have just made their day. That makes me feel good. Many, I have noticed, return that smile out of obligation. You can tell in their smile if they are happy with themselves.

I tend to just stroll on days like this. I take my time, a sort of sway as I walk. Have you ever watched people as they walk? No, I don’t mean checking out their asses, I mean reading into their walk and trying to figure out their mood by just that. I like watching the ladies that appear confident. Their steps are deliberate and with intent. They know what they want and they are comfortable with who they are. I feel sad for the ones who drag their feet to keep up with their bodies. Their steps are light, their knees too bent. It spells despair to me and I feel for them. Then you have the men that think they are everything and more. Their swaggered form, the thrust of their hips as they walk. I feel sad for these ones too, but I laugh at these guys where I would never do that to the feet draggers.

I try not to judge people by their clothes or their cars. I don’t think those things say anything about the type of person they are. Those things only talk of what society has made them to be. It’s their eyes, their walk, their stature that speaks volumes. Sure, when I am at the clubs or industry events I could likely be pegged as an escort. My eyes, my walk, my body language would all suggest so. But today, just window shopping I would size myself up as being okay. I’m okay with me and the life I have made for myself. That’s all I really want in life, just to be okay and if that is the worst that people perceive me to be then I must be doing alright.