Staying Grounded

I walked past her last night and she called me sexy! I walked away with a giddy grin and suddenly felt like a schoolgirl! But what a great feeling to feel so alive. Getting in this business was all about just that for me. Feeling alive again.

I know it sounds crazy as I am quite young, perhaps too young to feel that life is just passing you by. But that is what it had become for me for quite some time, like I was just existing. Life has taken an interesting curve for me. I am experiencing things in my life I never even knew I wanted to experience.

I am coming up on my first year in this business. It was about this time last year that I had started to explore the idea of becoming an escort. How much has changed since then, but in such a positive way. I think I have grown up so much both intellectually and spiritually. Yet I have managed to remain grounded and still appreciate the small things in life.

It sounds so simple to keep yourself grounded but in reality I can see how this business can change the person you were before working in the adult industry. You can see it in a lot of the ladies unfortunately. This business is very flattering so just how do you not let it go to your head? I am lucky that I have met a wonderful group of people in this business. They have treated me so well and yes, they keep me grounded.

It is funny that I find more security in myself within my work than I do in my personal life. You would think it would be the other way around. I have been very forward about me just being me. And that is what you get when you decide to spend time with me. Me. No show that I put on, just me. I feel comfortable to do that here. In my personal life I feel that there is this certain expectation to be a certain way. I am to live up to other people’s views of me and I feel that pressure. As Belle there is no pressure. Perhaps that is because I am so close with those in my personal life. My friends, family and coworkers have come to sum up just how I should be in life and it is very important for me not to let them down. As Belle, I am being summed up and I know that but I feel no pressure because of that. I know that I do not owe anyone anything, I can be me and I am accepted as being just that.

So how do I stay grounded then? Because that is just who I am. I am thankful for being accepted as I am. Sure there are reviews that try to sum up in a paragraph who I am and what could be expected of me but I do not feel any pressure from that. Why? Because I don’t pretend to be something I am not. If you start out trying to be someone else, you have to live up to that persona. You have to try to be that person all of the time. It’s not to say that it’s always a great time being me. I have my days, we all do but I do find a sense of relief that there is a place I can be that allows me to be myself. So when I reply to reviews and I say thanks for a wonderful time I do mean that. You are giving to me so much more that I am able to give to you.