Saturday, July 29, 2006

Exploiting to succeed? NOT!

In speaking to someone with an interest in the business of escorting I found myself contemplating the many issues surrounding what I do. I was asked to speak of maintaing a personal life as well as running a business. In short our conversation focused around balance. Again, it’s another topic I have written about already so I will not go into more detail there.

But we also discussed why some make it and others do not. Why do I have the clients that I do and just what type of clients are they were questions that were raised. Is it possible to be in this business and not be exploitive? Absolutely!

I enjoy what I do but I do not flaunt it. I am complimented and recommended yet I do not let that overcome me. I am compared to others with great status in this business yet I remain humble. I am respected and for that I am truly thankful.

But those things are not easy to come by. They must be earned, I had to work for all of that. Not that it is not in my nature to give respect where it is due, or to just try to be a good person but there are some things in this business, just as any other that must be learned to be achieved. To learn when to speak up and when to say nothing at all is an essential art to master. There are times to be defensive when you feel you are being wronged. There are times to trust those that see you, to allow them to make their own judgement of you.

There are times to stick up for one another, to fight for what we do and the respect that should come with. Yet there are times to sit back and let others fight their battle, giving them the chance to show their confidence and independence.

To know just who to trust and whom to be leery of. There are some that would jump at the chance to bring you down but who are they? This is a business of some very gifted actors, it is an ability needed to pull this job off at times. But it is an even greater ability to be able to see through that. Knowing people, being able to read them and understand them is a definite asset. An art if you will.

I do believe that you cannot be respected by others unless you respect yourself. And how do you earn that respect before even meeting someone? That is where the work is. Yes, the reviews truly do have a strong presence in this business. I am glad there is such a service out there that allows for a part of me to be displayed before the public. It is a way to speak to those I have not met, a way to have them see that I am respected, confident and a good person. It is not the end all/be all for an escort but it is a great medium.

Pictures say a thousand words. I’m sure you’ve all heard this before and it is so true. I think by the way you display yourself in your pictures gives others a sense of who you are. To be naked is a beautiful thing but to display that in an indecent manner can leave some to question your self respect. As I do believe, you do not need to be exploitive to be successful.

Being pro-active in this business shows your respect for what you do. I support what I do, I wish it were more open and accepted. If I were ashamed to be an escort how could I respect myself for doing what I do not approve of? To say that you do not like this job but do it for money says a lot about how you think of yourself. The sacrifices made are not worth losing your self respect.

So here we are at sacrifices. Another topic we had touched on in our conversation about being respected in this business without being exploitive. We all have morals, lines we do not cross. In this business, being respected is hugely correlated to just how much of yourself you are willing to sacrifice in return for a dollar. You see some ladies out there, anything to please is what they say. Anything to make you happy. It sounds great, really it does but just think about that a moment. Yes, we all want to be pleased and to feel that every measure is being taken to ensure total satisfaction but shouldn’t there still be limits, restrictions?

Many women in this business are willing to sacrifice all that they believe in for the sake of a dollar. I see that as a sign of weakness and insecurity. It is ok to say no, to let others know that there are some things you do not enjoy or make you uncomfortable. A good time can be had by all and yet not involve making sacrifices. I feel it is not my job to give a client everything he asks for but to join him in a mutually satisfying experience. I feel that for him to enjoy, I have to be enjoying too. You can’t fake that each and every time without being called on it.

I do not want to be known as the one that satisfies each and every desire. Nor do I want to be though of as selfless. I have limits and boundaries because I respect myself and I know that I am more respected because of those limitations.

I know that my time in this business will be short lived. I am a realist that way. But I do hope I am able to leave behind a sense of direction for some of the ladies that will come after me. I hope they are able to know of me and others like me and be confident in running their business without being exploitive. Respect yourself and others will respect you.

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