Thanks for the small things.....

I am having a most wonderful evening tonight. No, sex has not been a part of it (as of yet!) and no, I do not have any company that sex (other than with myself) is even a slight possibility but I am having a wonderful evening none the less.

I have had the fire burning since dinner time. It is amazing how the glow of the flame gives me a sense of ease. I can sit and watch the flames for hours, finding myself getting lost in thought. I think about the small things in my life that have altered my path, those small details that without them happening who knows just how different my life would have been.

It wasn’t until thinking of these things that I realized just how many people I owe thanks to. I would have no idea where to find most of them today, I don’t even know the names of most of them. But I want to say thanks to them anyways.

1) Thanks to the lady I sat beside in the hallway of the emergency room with the police in 1989. You stopped me from taking the rest of the pills I had in my pants pocket that night. They were going to release me until I thought about what you said and I did not trust myself to go home. I asked for help that night.

2) Thanks to the man on my train ride to BC in 1990 for the $5 you gave me. I had too much pride to admit it but I was starving! You taught me to never forget how hungry I was.

3) Thanks to the teacher that ran across the field to pick me up after a “friend” had beaten me up. You told me those tears would make me a stronger person some day. I didn’t understand what you meant until a man followed me home one night when I was 16. I stopped a lady in her car and asked her to drive me home that night. I would have been too embarrassed to do that if I didn’t learn from shedding those tears to stand up for myself.

4) Thanks to Mrs. Mckinley, my high school cross country coach for being so supportive when I dropped out of school. You set me up with the tools I needed to get through the next few years. You didn’t criticize or condemn, you were the only one to believe I would find my way some day. It’s now 16 years later and I’m happy to say I think I have finally found it, or atleast on the right track!

5) Thanks to Kip. If you only knew what your friendship meant to me 16 years ago. I certainly would not be who I am today without your quirky outlook on life. I now own a pair of red socks to live for too and when I see them in my drawer they make me laugh….every single day! Some days that chuckle has been my everything.

6) To my high school sweetheart. You were the first to give me love, I wouldn’t have known what that was like had I not met you. I have never felt those butterflies since. You were my first high school dance partner, I still remember how giddy I was. We spent 4 crazy years together. You gave me more than you will ever know. You and I were not meant to last, but that feeling I had every time I was with you, was. Next time, I won’t settle for anything less than the butterflies.

7) Thanks to the crappy real estate agent I used to buy my first house. I swore I would get my real estate license and prove that some really saw the business as more than an income. I sucked at selling houses but I went after something I really wanted. I worked hard and I did it. I was far too honest for real estate but I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that no matter how bad I wanted something in life, I just could not sacrifice my morals to get it. A lesson I have carried into this business with me.

8) Thanks to my kids for always asking “Why?” It drove me crazy for many years, “Why?, Why?, Why? About everything. Depending on my mood my answer was anything from some long winded brilliant explanation to “Just because” or “For God’s sake please do not ask me why one more time!” Now every time I ask “Why me? Why?” I give myself a kick in the ass for asking such an annoying question!

9) Thanks to Padre who works at Santana Beach Resort in La Romana. Without knowing it, you opened my eyes up to someone inside of me that was screaming to come out! My first moped ride, my first time peeling sugar cane and my first time being naked on a beach. While it took me a few years to bring that part of me to life again you showed me that she was in there!

10) Thanks for my very good friend, you know who you are! Ten years of joking, teasing and spilling to you my life story. Thanks for supporting me when I have needed you to and opening my eyes for me when I have been too blind to see what I needed to see. Thanks for the shoulder to cry on Christmas Eve, the hand to hold as I started out in this business and for your sense of humour which keeps me sane. You keep me grounded and lately I know I have really needed that! I know there would never have been a Belle if it weren’t for you, so thanks... for just being you.