Thursday, November 09, 2017

What makes great sex, great sex?

I have just in recent years begun to embrace the sexual being that I am. I've begun letting go of the societal norms and accepting that it's okay to be single and explore my sexual desires. And it's okay to do that without love, without commitment.

I've had sex with all types of men. Short, black, old, virgin, professional, thick, gay, trans...I've had them all. So when I speak of what makes great sex great, I do so with much experience. Some say there is no such thing as bad sex but I have to disagree. I've had bad sex. But what I consider to be bad sex, another may not. It all comes down to what you are looking to get out of it. If it's just an orgasm, then bad sex would be hard to come by, especially for a man. But I am not a man and even worse, I am a sexually adventurous woman whose bedroom pleasures are sometimes a little more complex than most women.

First and foremost, the end result for me is not an orgasm. If I get there, then great. I love a good orgasm, don't get me wrong. But some of the best sex I have had did not end with one. I take more pleasure in pleasing my partner than I do him pleasing me. Although the caveat to that would be knowing that pleasing me is the biggest turn on for him. Basically, my highest point of arousal stems from my partner's pleasure. If he is happy, I am happy.

Now good sex, sex that is satisfying to me is uninhibited. Be vocal, be aggressive and allow plenty of time for foreplay! I love touching and kissing, exploring and teasing. Talk to me, let me feel your breath on my skin. Tell me you want me, let me feel it in your touch. Take your time with me, prime me, prepare me before you have your way with me.

As for great sex, mind blowing takes a little more that you can't just plan for. It's that sex you just get lost in. Where every touch sends shivers down my spine. Call it a connection, call it chemistry, call it what you want but this kind of sex is so rare to find. I never felt it with my husband nor any other sexual partner I had had in my life. And it's not to say it was anyone's fault, that the men I have been with just weren't good enough. I just don't think I had sexually matured enough nor had met anyone else that had embraced their sexuality in its entirety to allow for great sex to be. It is to be celebrated once you find it for it is the most beautiful of all sex but once you have experienced it, once you have felt it, you are changed forever. There is no going back. You see sex so differently that accepting  a relationship with anyone who offers anything less satisfying would be undermining your self worth. You then realise that even no sex is better than just plain sex. That's just how good great sex can be!

xo Belle

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