Embarassing Moments

The things Escorts won’t tell you!

Being at the top of your game isn’t always easy. Neither is being classy 100% of the time. If she is any good at what she does, you won’t even notice the things I am going to talk about here…..I am not so graceful…….


1) We’re in the midst of passion. Both of us panting, I am laying on my back with one arm above my head. He works his way down between my thighs, his tongue so welcoming. He knows just how I like it, that perfect spot just below my clit. I am getting caught up in the moment, my head moving from side to side trying to control my lower body. I raise my head in hopes of watching him taste
me when I notice my hair has been tangled in my watch. Yes, he is there giving me that amazing tongue lashing and now I am distracted by the knot in my head. I pull my head away from my arm, boy did that hurt. I let out a whimper, that turns him on more. I sway my hips from side to side, up and down to keep him focused on what he is doing….to keep him distracted. I manage to raise my other arm and try to work out the knot. I am only making it worse. I undo my watch, leave it attached to my hair and focus enough to have him get me off. I please him in return (never leave a man unsatisfied!), and head to the bathroom to remove my watch from my hair

2) Condom issues really suck! I’m the professional, I should know how to do this right? Ever try to put a condom on backwards? Ever try to do it backwards with your mouth? Don’t….cause you’ll just look like an ass! I try to put the condom on without using my hands most of the time. Men find this erotic, but I do it this way to draw less attention to the “not-so-natural” feel of the business we are participating in. He’s of “slightly above average” size, anything above average can be difficult to apply this way. It’s a matter of placing the tip in my mouth and putting a lot of pressure with my lips around his head and work it slowly to the base. Usually it can look pretty hot, except when backwards. Yes, I sit with the tip in my mouth and purse my lips. It is giving me a hard time getting started, sometimes the ridge of the rim causes this so I don’t panic. Harder, tighter I barely get the rubber over his head. I work furiously to get it to slide down his shaft. I bring my hands in to help out as I work my head from side to side but finally have to admit defeat. I know I have to remove it and apply a new one. Slowly (and trying to be very erotic as I do this) I begin working it off the ridge of his penis. I straighten up in a better position to grab a new one when I am ready and there it is again…..that damn hair. I somehow managed to entangle a fair amount of hair around his penis and into the condomn! You do not know embarrassment until you have been in a moment like this! I managed to get the condom off of him and separate my hair from him but I had to actually get his help to untangle the condom from my hair! Good thing it was chocolate, it made for a few uneasy jokes while he fixed me up.Ugh, why do I bother? *wink*wink

3) Gifts. I just don’t know how to accept these, literally! He sees me quite regularly, we have a great time together and every once in awhile he will bring me small gifts. Very sweet of him but it embarrasses me every time! We were already undressed, I am on the bed, the sheets are drawn and he announces he has a gift for me. I close my eyes and he places something cold and plastic in my hand. (Get your mind out of the gutter, this is a family blog!) Not realizing how heavy it was as he was still holding on to it partially I was just opening my eyes and trying to sit up. He lets go and before I know it I am covered in dirt! Yes, he brought me a beautiful plant and I was now wearing it and its’ soil over my body! Sounds hot you think? Not! Mud maybe, but soil with white fertilizer rocks…..definitely not! He’s hard, I’m wet and the bed and I are in need of cleaning up! I apologize profusely and head into the shower as he takes care of the bed. Just when I think this cannot get any worse I hop out of the shower, grab a towel and head to the bedroom to see a houseman standing in the room with clean sheets! Me naked, the sheets needing changing (please note the sheets are discolored to possibly lead one to believe that there was a recent trip to the islands) and this is all I could think of. Not much happened that night but a lot of nervous chuckles! Yes, believe it or not he continues to see me!

4) It’s 10 minutes prior to a scheduled appointment. I am running late…I HATE being late. A phone call from a mom that will only call at times like this. Plus I couldn’t figure out what to wear and blah, blah, blah. So yes, I am running late. I make one last stop in my bedroom to grab my heels, grab my coat off the coat stand and dart out the door. My driver scurries me off and I light a smoke. What a crazy day was all I could think. I’m headed to the Niagara Hilton, one hotel I dread as I have to walk right past front desk. Where is Nick? I like seeing Nick, he’s great and never gives us ladies a hard time. Why can’t all hotels have a Nick? I put out my smoke, pop in a cinnamon strip to cover my smoke breath and try to pull myself together to walk into the lobby. I try to look classy, not sleezy and tonight am impressed with my choice of attire, for being pulled together last minute. As I am walking through the lobby I am thinking “I look all right!” Until something just doesn’t feel right. A few more steps and I look down. I realize with horror that I have 2 different heels on! Yes, one left…one right…..one black and one brown! One ¼ inch heel, One ½ inch heel! I am lopsided walking through the Hilton and past front desk! OMG, I cannot tell you how much I dread this call! I am in the elevator, so are about 7 other people. I still have to make it down the hall and into the room, and then I just may never leave because I have to somehow get back to my driver! I walk in and kiss him right away. Keeping his eyes distracted I keep the kiss going long enough to kick off my shoes and throw my sweater over top of them! Getting out of there? I called the driver to have him meet me at the back door. I took the stairs down, about 12 flights to meet him out back! Boy do I feel like an ass! Can’t dress me up let alone take me out!

5) I think every escort will have a story like this one. You have a “board name”, you have a room number. You knock on the door, he seems happy so you walk in. You wrap your arms around him, give him a kiss and ask him how his night is. “Very good” he replies and then carries on to say he was expecting pizza. No, he did not order a lady to his door, he ordered pizza! Note to self….double check the room number before you knock! He was really great about it though. He had figured his buddies had set him up, he just divorced his wife. I closed the door, we made out for a few minutes, I wished him the best of luck with women in the future and then backed out the door. He just stared at me with a sheepish grin, the door slightly open and watched me knock on the door beside his. I walked in and he was still standing there. I made sure to be extra loud for that hour as I doubt he was eating pizza! Embarrassing at first yes, but this one turned out to be quite fun! I’ve heard of worse, the wife sitting in the other room etc so this one wasn’t so bad at all! I should have left my number behind, he was a great kisser!