Lesson from a Street Girl

Have you ever found yourself in the oddest of relationships with someone? Maybe you were the cool kid in school and befriended the nerd or you are the suit and tie banker and your buddy is still wearing his mullet and leather tasselled jacket from the 80’s. Or you being the street smart wise ass married the book smart research assistant. I’ve spent many enjoyable hours just walking around town people watching and have seen many odd couples and wondered just how they came to be. The lady, all of 90 lb soaking wet being held up by the 300lb man; the 7ft man awkwardly bent down to make out with his 5ft nothing sweetheart. There has to be a connection, something they share that the rest of us don’t see that brings these odd relationships together. But as odd as they seem, these types of relationships are common. It is not unusual to see opposites attract one another.

 I walk home from my “outside of Belle” job most every night. My path takes me along the same strip that the ladies of the night walk. I see the same few girls most every night. It was my custom to cross the street opposite to where they stood. I never really put any thought into why I did this, it was just an automatic reaction to do so.

One night, after many weeks of this routine one girl hollered across to me asking for a smoke. She began to cross the street approaching where I stood as I fumbled through my purse for my pack. I was nervous. I couldn’t explain why, but I was. I gave her a smoke, she thanked me and I continued my walk home all the while questioning why I felt so intimidated. I am, after all, one of them. There are names/titles/terms given to different forms of the business but call it what you will, we all share the same occupation. And yet I fear “them”. It bothered me every time after that night that I would continue to cross the street so I finally stopped doing it.

I can’t state enough how strongly I stand by what I do as Belle, no matter what society says about me and what I do. I am not ashamed.  And here I am giving in to something I have spent years fighting against. I am fearing something I am a part of. And why? Because society has told me to? I am one of them as they are one of me. And so every night I pass this same girl I stop. I give her a smoke and we chat. We get hollered at, she turns and smiles and waits to see if they stop. Sometimes they are crude and I wonder how she puts up with that. If it were me, I would walk out of the room. This street is her room, where else is she to go?

Some days as I approach her she smiles, she seems okay. Those days I am happy for her. Other days she staggers and once we are face to face I see emptiness in her eyes and I hurt for her. I shouldn’t because I know how I feel when people say they hurt for me. I can’t speak for her, I can’t say she wants my pity but I feel for her just the same. While I may feel happiness or pity, I don’t feel the fear of her anymore and I am glad for that. I see the strength she has to endure the street life, it’s not for the weak and helps me appreciate even more the atmosphere in which I am able to do as I do.

And so it is now that we have this odd relationship. For those that know me not as Belle, they may pass us on the street corner and wonder just how our two worlds collide. How we can be so clearly opposite yet befriend one another. But the truth is, what’s on the outside... what we let others see has nothing to do with who we are. What’s inside, the her and the I, aren’t as opposite as we seem.  I am one of them as they are one of me.

 

When I people watch now, I don't focus so much on how odd relationships come to be but try to see just how much they are the same. Quite often I notice how they seem to take interest in the same types of novels in the bookstore, how they exit the theatre sharing the same excitement for the thriller they just saw or just they way they touch eachother while they talk..things that clearly make them more alike than one without insight would see.

 

Life is about learning. Not just from books or Google or Discover magazine but from people you don't even know; people that you pass by every day. The bus stop, the coffee shop and yes, even from the girls that walk the street at night.