Saturday, May 05, 2007

Where did my "Get up and go" go?

I have always considered myself to be quite driven. I have ambition, love a challenge and certainly do not shy away from a little dirty work. I can survive on very little sleep, assuming I am to be personally rewarded by the project at hand. It was always my dream to own my own home, a goal that took me many years to reach.

I have lived on my own since I was 14. I went from living in the woods (my father kicked me out and rightfully so) to rooming at the YWCA while I participated in a “workfare for welfare” program. My first apartment was rented when I was sixteen, paid for by a jackpot winning at bingo. I moved several times, from low income geared housing to my first real apartment that I paid for with real hard earned money at 19. Those five years of being on my own is where my dreaming started.

I loved having a place to call my own. It belonged to me, it was mine. I could paint it any color, I could rearrange my furniture three times a week. I could burn my pretty scented candles, I could invite friends over for coffee. I was a grown up and it was fun to play house. As I matured through those years I began to dream of more, as we all do. I wanted a house I could call my home. I wanted grass to cut, a fire pit in the back yard. I wanted a barbeque and a front porch. I wanted two stories, a huge yard and yes, the white picket fence. It was a dream for me but things had not changed much for me financially. It was pay cheque to pay cheque just to make the basic ends meet. But it never stopped me from dreaming to one day be a home owner.

At 22, I finally bought my own house. Still no money to do much with it, but I owned it. I spent 8 years in that home. I didn’t do all that I wanted to do, but I did realize that grass cutting wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. My home I am in now, I bought almost 2 years ago, just before I started in this business. It was a steal of a deal. You know what that means. It was a fixer-upper…a money pit. Kitchen needs to be redone. House has not seen fresh paint in about 50 years, lime green was everywhere. Kitchen was wallpapered with tin cabinets throughout. Unfinished basement full of mold, unsafe outdated wiring, over run 60x234 lot and driveway that was worse than driving through the outback.

But….it has five natural bedrooms, a full kitchen with separate dining room, a fire place, a full basement. A large lot with potential for a beautiful deck and hot tub. It has 1800 square feet of everything I always dreamed of owning, just in need of a little TLC. The difference between this house and my old one? I now have the money to fix it up but where the hell did my drive go? I don’t know where to start, so I started everywhere. Started stripping off the tile in the bathroom until I decided the bedroom needed some work. Started stripping off the paneling on my bedroom walls to leave that and paint the upper bedrooms. One coat there and it was down to the living room with a fresh coat of mustard yellow. Then the kitchen. Oh my lord. My poor kitchen.

I bought new cherrywood kitchen cabinets and granite countertops last November. Finally, just this week, I opened the boxes and began assembling them. I got bored so I stopped that to put the second coat of paint upstairs. Back to the cabinets and as of last night…they are done! Yes, I finally finished something I started! So, I needed to get a “pass through” cut out of my kitchen/dining room wall. The original plan has a bar top of sorts to be put in here with a few stools on the dining room side to be used as a breakfast nook. Problem is….I reformatted my computer and in doing so, lost the kitchen plans. So I hired a contractor and told him to “just figure it out”. He started riping down my wall to prepare for the cutout and somehow in the meantime convinced me to put in new porcelain tile flooring before the cabinets. So we started lifting up the floor.

Then the contractor tried screwing me over so I fired him. Now I am left with nine days to fix a broken up wall, lay new plywood in my kitchen, lay 165 square feet of porcelain tile, install 18 cabinets that are currently not-so-strategically placed throughout my main floor, tear up and remove the boxes and bubble wrap that have taken over my home, paint each room that remains half painted and instead of being productive I’m having a smoke, drinking my Timmies saying “Fuck it!”. Not the most mature approach but considering my only other option right now is laying on the floor crying in the fetal position I figure I’m doing all right! All I wanted was to cut grass damn it!

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