Wednesday, December 20, 2006

"Belle De Jour" rant....

Belle de Jour. Have any of you ever read her books or viewed her blog? The story is this. She claims to be a “High end London Courtesan”. She writes anonymously under the name “Belle De Jour”. There has been quite a controversy over just who she really is. There have been several claims that her true identity has been outted. Some feel she is a 33 year old journalist who resides in the UK, others have the inkling she is actually a “he”, a 42 year old “he” that has been known to write under female names in the past. Both have been known to write in similar style and about similar topics. My view? She is not who or what she claims to be.

I do not make this judgement on a literary basis as I am not a professional author by any means but from one escort reading of another, I have problems with her claim. I suppose “high end” can be described about as many ways as “GFE” could be, its’ definition not written in stone. But to me, to call yourself “A high end courtesan” there should be a high level of self respect, something her writing shows little of.

The way I see it, there are a few classes you will see within the escorting industry. The "entry level” girls are the ones without a voice. They share the same characteristics as the “cash and grab” girls. Anything goes. Do to them what you wish, they will be sure to let you get away with almost anything. Dirty, kinky, sub, dom, roleplay, whatever you desire. Is there something wrong with that? Not necessarily. But there is when she does not enjoy it. When an escort has no limits, no barriers that are not to be crossed, when she sacrifices her morals for the sake of a buck, then there is a problem with that and I would not consider her to be a “high end call girl”.

Could I make a lot more money if I allowed men to perform facials, or to have them demean me by calling me their “bitch, slut or whore”? Absolutely! I turn down calls like this quite often. Because I have limits, lines that are not to be crossed. I do not believe to be good as an escort you have to give to a man’s every whim. But that is just my opinion and I know many will disagree, mostly the men I have turned down!

BDJ (Belle De Jour) continues to write about allowing men to gag her with their penises, talk to her like a whore and treat her in a way I would never think to allow. She then writes about how pathetic these people are, how she can justify these acts with the monetary gain at the end. I just don’t see a high end call girl openly admitting to such lack of self respect. If she enjoyed the acts I would feel differently, but she despises them. Yet she shows up for the next call to do it all again.

She looks at her clients as money and that disturbs me. No, it does not mean escorts don’t think that way as I know the vast majority do. But a high end courtesan, I would think, have a better understanding of the men that participate in the hobby. To ridicule them, just what do you say about yourself? It is frustrating to be a part of this business and constantly feel the need to further define this business. Yes, it can be cold and mechanical but it can also be warm and passionate. When a self described high class courtesan writes a book demeaning the men and demoralizing her profession it angers me as it feeds to the ignorance of society.

But that is what sells. Who wants to read about how escorts help marriages. How we satisfy men in a way (for whatever reason) their wives cannot. Who wants to read that that an escort can actually become a better person because of this business, that she can find herself, gain confidence in herself and learn more of herself than any office job could ever teach her. Who wants to read of the lonely gentlemen that just want someone to talk to, to hold naked in bed. No, that stuff doesn’t sell. People want to read about the kink, the risqué, the fantasies. They want to believe this business is dirty, immoral and sinful. And because of that society will likely never open up to the possibility that this industry may not be so bad after all.

I am not naive, I know what else goes on within this business. I also know that I will never change how society sees girls like me. But it doesn’t stop me from wishing it could be different and it certainly doesn’t stop me from cursing women like “Belle De Jour” who just don’t get it.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've always had an issue with the stereotype of "men who seek out company to do things their wives won't," although I know it's a stereotype for a reason.

Maybe I'm idealistic, but I wonder how many of these men have actually asked their wives to do the things they want. My husband and I have done things that push both of our boundaries, but we were both willing to try because the other asked and created a safe space to try those things.

Rather, I find that many men who say this have a madonna/whore complex about their own wives. They want something but they don't like the idea of their wife doing it.

Anonymous said...

Belle, if there ever was a woman in this business that truly deserves the description as High End Courtasan then it should be you. Your attitude about everything and your respect for us men who choose to see you, far surpasses that of most others in this business. It truly is our honour to spend time with you. Knowing that you get out of this as much as you give is something that all of us respect about you. You are truly a classy woman!!

Anonymous said...

"Belle de Jour" was also the name of a movie (in the 60s I think). It starred Catherine Deneuve and was directed by Louis Bunuel.

It is the story of a Parisian doctor's wife who decides she wants to work at what is now called an "incall." (It used to be house of ill repute or house pleasure, depensing on where youy stand.)
Here is a link to a review:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/belle_de_jour/


Deneuve is stunning and so are her clothes. I have a copy and,if I remember, I will bring it the next time I am in NF,

All the best for Christmas and the New Year. I hope to have the pleasure of seeing you in the new year.

Connoisseur

Anonymous said...

Thanks Connoiseur, and yes it was a movie of which I have a copy. This is where the name Belle de Jour originated from. I say keep the movie, ditch the book!

Belle

The Player said...

High is relatively speaking.

Certainly I would be willing to pay much more for a PhD to do something that a street walker would.

Some men pay to be humiliated. Why can't a man pay for a rich educated woman to be humiliated?

Anonymous said...

Mr. La Player, please read more carefully. I never said there was anything wrong with a man paying a rich educated woman to be humiliated.....the issue is that whatever is to happen between adults should be of mutual consent and enjoyable to those involved. To have yourself degraded for money is, in my opinion crude and demoralizing. Now that I think of it....I'd never want to be with a man that would even think of treating me that way. But I can only speak for myself.

beau said...

I think Belle has stopped sucking cocks - and other fun activities - for money. She's not mentioned such activities for payment since her book was published.

However you will find that a high proportion of London escorts provide all the services that Belle wrote about.

Is it for real? Or is she really a man?

Well I don't know but ...

Many years ago I started to write a novel based on my experiences as a client of escorts. I was finding it hard to find the time to concentrate on it despite the ecouragement of an escort friend and had virtually given it up when - Belle's blog suddenly started. What a good idea I thought - so started my own blog and called it beau-de-jour thinking I might one day be able to get it published. Sadly Belle got he book deal first!

However I did exchange emails with Belle on a number of occasions. She came over to me as genuine and was always in role. A couple of things she revealed fitted in with what I had guessed from the blog. She also wrote me a very personal and kind email when I took down my blog. It didn't seem to fit the role of a cynic and fraud. But ...

I could be wrong of course. A number of escort friends have read her book and think there are a number of suspicious factors. One thinks she writes more like a man. So - who knows? Though I'm not sure if it was a male imposter why he would be continuing with it now.

I have problems with the notion of High Class escorts as opposed to ...

Some one once wrote that the only difference between a "high class call girl" and a woman working in a parlour or a brothel was a mobile phone!

I do find LA PLayers remark offensive though if he means it seriously.

Whether with a PhD or no education all sex-workers should be treated with respect. It's a difficult enough job without clients wanting to "humiliate" them. (Despite the tongue in cheek nature of my current blog.)

The Player said...

It's funny, I think you guys are far off. I can quote the whole SMS culture for example. It cost you more to find a good dominatrix or submissive, and humiliation is the word. In US, class is how much you charge.

You guys seem to take the word humiliation negatively. I can tell you the well known fact that civilian British girls are not considered a woman, compared to the French, in the blow job department. Americans are also big on blow jobs compared to the British. Paying a British girl to do blow job is the form of 'humiliation' that I wanted to refer to. May not be the appropriate word, or may be right.

I object to the fact that anybody is judged by the particular acts they perform, that some acts are classier than the others.

Say in Asia many younger high end girls state clearly that they do not blow, covered or not. Many US high end escorts deep throat, gagging without second thought.

A level is not considered classy in US, but it's 2nd nature in South Asia, South America for civilian girls.

Whether humiliation is the right choice of word. Consider this, is dirty talk a form of humiliation?

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