Saturday, November 11, 2006

Journey into the night

This entry is more for my personal reflection than anything. It is not my typical style of writing so be prepared, it is quite long and uneventful.



I am sure if you read my last blog you would have likely figured it wouldn’t be long before I tried something spontaneous. I try at the best of times to challenge myself. If I see a fault, fix it. If I am not happy, make myself happy. And if I feel that I need spontaneity in my life, then do something spontaneous! I spent enough years feeling sorry for myself, wishing my life were different. I try hard now to make my life what I want it to be. The night ahead of me was totally unplanned, unscripted and uneventful yet I learned so much about me.

First, how I came to this idea. Ever see Sleepless in Seattle? Any of you that have had a sappy significant other in the early ‘90’s will likely remember this one. He lives East, she lives West. They fall in love but have never met. The proposition is laid out. I will be here at such and such a place, at such and such a time, on such and such a day. Typical love story. He is there and waits, she finally meets him there and they live happily ever after. So the idea of propositioning someone with “I’ll be here, on this day, at this time…..if you want me” was born. No, not to live happily ever after as I do not believe in fairy tales, but as for great sex…….I will always believe!

Anyways, I knew the possibility of a sexual interlude was not about to happen but I then thought of still showing up…at that place, at that time and seeing what the night had waiting for me. A date with myself. A night of spontaneity. No plans, no maps, no mission save for going on a whim!

I started my journey with a little stress before I walked out the door so I knew I would be fully able to appreciate the journey ahead of me. A quick stop at the drug store to pick up ear muffs and ski gloves, another stop at Timmy’s and I found myself parked at the border. Sporting my winter gear and proudly wearing my Montreal Canadiens jacket I started for my walk across the Rainbow Bridge.

I met an Indian grandmother walking with her grandson. We stopped midway to view the fireworks. They were nothing short of spectacular, the view from here uncomparable. It was loud, you could hear the thunderous effects of the fireworks echoing throughout the gorge. Very intense and a great way to start out the night. The Canadian side has the winter Festival of Lights in full swing. The entire parkway is lit up in beautiful colored lights, the falls glowing with shades of pink and purple. I felt a twinge of Christmas Spirit.

I chatted with the company I had met about the beauty of Canada, their first family vacation from India and Buffalo wings. We entered customs and went our separate ways. I had dreaded walking into customs. How do I explain what I am doing in the USA? Just wandering around? Would they let me in if I didn’t have a place to go? I did end up telling them just that, and added that I’d likely wind up at the casino, they waved me through.

I exited the customs office and in front of me was a sign. No, not the kind sent from some higher being that would lead me on some righteous path but a real sign. It read “Welcome to New York, The Empire State”. Now what to do from here?

I turned left to a parking area just outside of customs. There I saw a hard Rock CafĂ© lit up and could faintly hear the music. I figured where there is a Hard Rock, there is life so that’s where I headed. On my left which was across from the restaurant I notices a few plaques and then a few large buildings illuminated by colored strobe lights. I thought I would check it out. I noticed a patrol car driving by so I felt reassured that the area was surveyed by the local police. I began reading the plaques realizing that this was officially a State Park. I have wanted to visit a few during the summer to camp and while you can’t camp at this one it was neat to know I was visiting my first State Park!

I walked around the buildings. It is set back along the gorge yet the walkways are gated. I was hoping to view the falls from the American side but couldn’t figure a way to get closer. Walking back up the pathway I notice a bus shelter. It is covered but open on all sides. It is well lit and right along the road side. I set up home here for the night. Grabbing my pen and paper from my bag I see another patrol car drive by. I begin to wonder if this should make me feel safer or if I should be a little more worried.

I jot down a few notes about my journey thus far. A young couple passed by me with quite a distance between them. Not the hand-holding lovers I was hoping to see. What has happened to the days of a man taking a woman’s hand? Is chivalry really dead? With that thought, my phone rang. It was a good friend of mine checking up with me. We discussed my little situation before I left home and managed to clear my head a little. Hanging up, I was left to just sit there and at first felt a little awkward. My hopes of people watching were soon diminished, there was noone around. The streets were dead save for a car here and there headed home for the night.

A sudden urge struck me just then. I had never considered what I would do in the event I needed a ladies room. I have no idea where to go! I know the casino is close by so I decide that is where I need to be unless I can find a coffee shop before then. It is getting a little chilly so a warm reprieve would be welcoming right now. It doesn’t take long to realize I am not in Kansas any more. I am used to a Tim Horton’s on every street corner. Not here. No coffee shops around but I did find my way to the casino. I passed an Aviation Museum just beside the casino. It looks really interesting, a place I would love to visit on my next trip (In daytime hours for sure!). I looked at my cell, it was about 10:30pm.

The casino was quite busy and after a visit to the ladies room to clean myself up (now I really feel like a vagrant!) I couldn’t resist the urge to try my luck. I spent about 45 minutes trying to beat the bandits but to no avail. My phone rang and I talked for about a half hour in the casino lobby (being told all of the do’s and don’ts) before heading back to my park bench. It’s was getting quite cool out now but I wasn’t feeling the effects too badly. I curled my legs up, grabbed my book and began reading. I’ve been trying to finish this book for quite some time now, hopefully tonight will be the night.

Trying to focus but having a hard time as I notice several cruisers keep circling me. I am getting nervous at the thought of being arrested for vagrancy. Can they even arrest you for such a thing? A couple of hours later one finally stops and I know I am going to have to find a way to sanely describe why I am doing something so insane. The officer asks if I am okay. I explain to him that I am fine and ask if it is okay to be sitting where I am. He has no problem with that but points out the obvious. “It’s 1:11 am, you are a young woman sitting in the freezing cold, in a different country….reading a book”. He had a hard time comprehending why I was there but was happy to know I was okay. He smiled and drove away. Sitting back down with my book all I could think was “Why couldn’t I have spontaneously taken a ski trip for the night, or rented a room and ordered room service?”. I then realize that when I set my mind on doing something, it is seldom something small and mundane. That is who I am and I really just wanted to do something I would never normally do. Something spontaneous.

Getting cool I figured it was time to walk around a bit, check out my surroundings and then head back to the casino to warm up. I played a little more just to get feeling back in my legs. I am freezing yet it feels so good. Go figure! I stopped by the snack sop and picked up 1 hot dog, 1 pasta salad and 1 Mocha. Why a mocha? Cause I have no idea what it is and I’m being spontaneous! I eat my hot dog, toss out the salad (no, not toss the salad!) and add 6 sugar to my mocha. Back to wander the great outdoors! I found a Days Inn and thought of getting a room but decided against it as it’s just too safe, too predictable and they probably don’t have hot tubs anyways. I did notice a Denny’s was located inside so I knew where I’d likely do breakfast.

I found my way back to my bench and took out my pen and paper. A group of teens walked towards me and I began to panic just a little. Nothing to fear though as they walked right past me laughing and joking with one another. I turned to watch them head into the park. Listening to them I think back to my days as a teen. I am saddened that I spent those days so high that I never appreciated walking through the streets at night with friends. It is now 3:30am. I jotted down a few notes to myself and closed my eyes to hear the rumbling of the falls behind me. It was so peaceful and rejuvenating. A great way to clear one’s mind. I stroll some more and end up behind the casino. Not too sure how I had gotten there but feeling the need to make my way back to my bench. Spontaneous, yes….stupid…no.

As I walk across the parking lot leading to the Hard Rock I notice flashing lights. I could turn and run but that would make me look even more suspicious. Problem is the cruisers are directly across from my bench! Now I really feel like a whino, I have claimed a park bench as my own! The van the officers had pulled over was driving away just as I was walking past. The one officer that stopped to chat with me laughed and asked if I was really going back to do some more reading. We chatted about the casino and when they noticed my Canadiens jacket they threatened to escort me back over the border. We did have a good chat and they promised to keep a good eye on me for the rest of the night. I thanked them for being so kind and went back to my bench to write, then read.

I had another call from a good friend.. He did a great job of checking up on me tonight. While taking to him the officer drove by again and waved and not 5 seconds behind him was an ambulance pulling over to me. I thought this was it. They were committing me to the looney bin for evaluation. I was so scared walking up to them but it turns out all they wanted to know was how to see the falls. They were from Virginia. I talked with my buddy until close to 6am. It was still dark and I knew the sun would be up soon. I wanted to watch the sun come up from the rainbow bridge so it was time to hit Denny’s for a bite to eat, some hot tea (yes, you have to specify here if you want hot or cold tea) and to warm up.

I opted for the French toast, bacon and sausage. I am not usually a breakfast eater but I was in a different mode today. I did some more reading until I was finished eating, dressed back up in my gear and headed for the bridge. Now it is here I felt really stupid! When waking over I had to walk through a different exit as the marked exit was under construction. There were signs that directed pedestrians where to go to exit customs and enter USA. Well going back to Canada there were signs for the pedestrian entrance to Canada. I followed only to see the construction.

There was no way in so I turned around by the toll booths and planned on going in that way. I was brave enough to pass a sign that said “No pedestrians beyond this point” but it was the only way to go! I was starting to sweat as I noticed the door with big “No entry” signs on them. I went so far as to grab a door handle but I couldn’t bear to open it. What if it set sirens off and the cavalry came after me? I could see dogs attacking, swat team surrounding me. I was so scared so I walked back to where I started. Surely I had missed a sign somewhere. Nope, no sign. It seems pedestrians are not allowed into Canada. I stood like an idiot in the toll booth lanes wondering what to do. I finally hollered over to a toll booth attendant and he radioed for a customs officer to escort me in the building.

Passing through and on the bridge I stopped at the international boundary line to watch the sun come up. The fog of the night was just lifting off the water, the haze from the slight rain of the night lingered in the air. There was not a car to be seen crossing the bridge so I found it odd when I heard a truck come up behind me and stopped. I turned to see why. It was a customs official lowering the Canadian flag for Remembrance Day. I stood there with my hands at my side facing the flag until it was lowered and he drove away. It was such an honor yet so humbling to be there to see that. It was now 6:39 AM. A perfect salute to my journey into the night.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts! Beautifully written!

I got a lot out of it, perhaps as much as you did.