Saturday, July 29, 2006

Bending the rules

The things I wonder yet I know I dare not ask. This business is funny in the way that our relationships are formed. Let’s face it, we are not meeting one another under normal circumstances. Nor are we involved in a relationship that follows a natural course. We have a whole different set of rules here in our world.

While we do not like to consider our visits being part of a “relationship”, it is by all accounts just so, only we do not offer commitment as part of that arrangement. With everyone you meet you form some type of relationship with them, this business is no different. Yes, these relationships are on many different levels depending on the time you spend with someone but from the moment you first meet them a relationship has been formed.

It is by my choice, and a healthy one I think to keep these relationships emotionally distant. I have discussed this in prior blogs so I will not go in-depth with that but to say that even with all brick walls built around me, friendships have still formed.

But even these friendships do not equate to what the outside world would deem “normal”. There is no guidebook to the world of escorting so how do you know where the lines are? How do you be sure to not cross over, to protect others as well as yourself from having to become defensive and protect your personal life from colliding with your “other” life? These friends I have met mean a great deal to me. They know many personal things about my life. They offer advice, support and lend their ear so I can vent when I need to. But yet I do not call them on the phone. We do not meet daily for coffee. We do not do dinners with one another’s family nor do our children play together. By all accounts these are not normal friendships yet I consider them as equally important in my life.

I had recently crossed that line. It sounds crazy I know. Belle, the one that is cold and keeps her personal life at a distance from this business. The one that contracted with herself to not let these two lives collide. It was a different experience for me, yet a very comfortable one. First I have to say that in the time I have spent in this business I have allowed myself to be open to ideas. Criticism, thoughts, experiences…..these are all things that I have willingly accepted from others. Some have really impacted just how I have chosen to run my business. This friend has been just that for me.

Although I have not met with him in a way that I meet most gentlemen in this business, he is still someone that, in the normal course of my day I would not have met in the outside world. I suppose that in inviting him into my personal world would seem odd to most but it just seemed the natural thing to do. He met my children and we spent the day together. It was fun and we all enjoyed his company. It wasn’t about business and that was nice for a change. Sure, we chatted briefly about it but it was more about just hanging out and having a good time with a friend.

Even in my personal life, it is seldom I take time out with friends. I would say that most of my relationships formed outside of this business are that of acquaintances and not friends. I am not sure why that is, perhaps it is just that I have kept myself very family oriented and it is seldom I spend time with friends unless it involves an event where my kids are with me. It was nice to share that with him, to open up just a little, to show that I am just me and this is my life. What a wonderful life it is. So I want to thank him for being willing to share that with me. We had a great time and I hope to do it again.

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